Xander: So, what do you think?
Buffy: It's nice.
Xander: But do you think Cordelia will like it?
Buffy: I don't know. Does she know what one of these is?
Xander: When are you guys going to stop making fun of me for dating Cordelia?
Buffy: Sorry. But, never.
Xander: Cordy and I are really getting along. We're not fighting as much, and yesterday we just sat together - not speaking. You know, just enjoying comfortable silence. Man, that was dull.
Buffy: I'm glad that you guys are getting along. Almost really.
Xander: This is new territory for me. I mean, Valentine's gifts are usually met with heart-felt restraining orders.
Buffy: Sorry to say, Xan. Slaying is a tad more powerless than dating.
Xander: Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia.
Xander: No F for Xander today. No. This [paper] is my ticket to a sweet D minus.
Buffy: Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolate.
Amy: Bad breakup, huh?
Buffy: Believe me when I say, uh huh.
Willow: I just hate thinking of you solo on Valentine's Day.
Buffy: I'll be fine. Mom and I are going to have a pigout and film-fest. It's a time-honored tradition among the loveless.
Giles: Buffy. Might I have a word?
Buffy: Have a sentence even.
Willow: Oz has his cool hair today. I think I'm a groupie.
Amy: Intent has to be pure with love spells.
Xander: Right. I intend revenge. Pure as the driven snow.
Xander: Don't flatter yourself. I'm not going to make a big scene. Just want the necklace back.
Cordelia: What? I thought it was a gift.
Xander: No. Last night it was a gift. Today it's scrap metal. I figure I can melt it down. Sell it for fillings or something.
Willow: Friendships change all the time. They grow apart. They grow closer.
Xander: This is good - how close we are now. I feel comfortable with this closeness. In fact, I can back up a few paces and still be happy.
Willow: Is it Oz? Don't worry about him. He's sweet, but he's not you.
Xander: Yes, he is! And you should go to him. 'Cause he's me.
Xander: That's it! This has got to stop! It's time for me to act like a man. And hide!
Giles: I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this.
Xander: Oh, no. I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this.
[Oz punches Xander. Oz rubs his knuckles.]
Oz: That kinda hurt.
Xander: Kinda? What was that for?
Oz: I was on the phone all night listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you.
Cordelia: Who died and made you Elvis?
Cordelia: The only way you could get girls to want you would be witchcraft.
Xander: That is such a... Well, yea. Okay. Good point.
Drusilla: Your face is a poem. I can read it.
Xander: Really? It doesn't say, "spare me" by any chance?
Drusilla: How do you feel about eternal life?
Xander: We couldn't just start with coffee? A movie maybe?
