Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2, ep. 20 Quippy Quotes

As the Slayer and Chosen One, Buffy Summers has to face many kinds of creatures. Vampires are easy to kill because they are no longer human and they have no soul. It's difficult when she has to face a monster who turns out to be human. And I'm not only talking about the sea creatures she has to fight in "Go Fish." This episode also deals with what extent people will go to in order to win.

Quotes:

Xander: All I'm saying is, it's a stupid idea to have a victory part at the beach. It's officially nippy.
Willow: I think it's festive. A party with nature.
Cordelia: Well, it's the team's choice. It was their victory.
Xander: Team? Swim team. Hardly what I call a team. The Yankees. Abbott and Costello. The A. Now those were teams.

Xander: He actually told you to alter his grade?
Willow: Exactly. Except for actually telling me to. But he made it perfectly clear of what he wasn't telling me.
Xander: That is wrong. A big fat spankin' wrong. It's a slap in the face to everyone of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our Ds.

Buffy: So, something ripped him open and ate out his insides?
Willow: Like an Oreo cookie. Well, except for, you  know, without the chocolaty cookie goodness.

Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? [Giles gives Buffy a look] You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh.

Xander: Too much research. Need beverage.
[Cameron runs into Xander]
Cameron: Hey! Watch it!
Xander: Oh, forgive me, your swim teamliness.
Cameron: Loser.
Xander: Liking the nose, Cam.

Giles: Is that what you saw, Xander?
Xander: Yea. I think so. Pretty much.
Giles: Are you sure?
Xander: Well, it was dark, and the thing went through the window so quick. And I was a little shocked when I saw it, and --
Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman.
Xander: Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman too.

Buffy: If my theory's correct, Gage Petronzi, the third-best swimmer, would be the next item on the menu.
Cordelia: This is so sad. We're never gonna win the state championship. I think I've lost all will to cheerlead.
Xander: Raise your hand if you feel her pain.

Giles: If these killings aren't random, it would suggest that someone's out for revenge.
Buffy: And raises the possibility that someone brought forth this sea monster from whence it came to exact that revenge. From whence it came? I'm spending way too much time around you.

Xander: Who would hate the swim team that much, though? Besides me, I mean.

Buffy: It's a good call. You should question him.
Willow: Really? Me? I'll crack him like an egg.

Xander: What about me? What can I do?
Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.

Principal Snyder: It's a terrible, terrible tragedy. We all feel you pain, Coach. I don't know two finer boys than Cameron and... that other one.

Gage: Was that the thing that killed Cameron?
Buffy: No. That was something else.
Gage: Something else?
Buffy: Yea. Unfortunately, we have a lot of "something elses" in this town.

Gage: Hey! Walk me home?

Buffy: Any luck researching our fish monster?
Cordelia: Zippo. We couldn't find any sea demon that matches the description that Xander gave us. Not that Chicken Little's much of a witness.

Cordelia: Xander! What are you doing here?
Xander: I'm undercover.
Willow: You're not under much.

Xander: Okey dokey, Coachie.

Buffy: Where's Gage?
Xander: Uh, right behind me, putting his sneakers on. But it's not the Velcro kind, so give him a couple of extra minutes.

Xander: I'm "lookin' around " guy.

Buffy: Giles loaded up the tranquilizer gun. We're going fishing.

Xander: What am I gonna do?
Cordelia: You, you, you! What about me? It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another one to be dating the creature from the Blue Lagoon.
Xander: Black Lagoon. The creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields.

Buffy: You're really getting into this interrogation thing.
Willow: The trick is not to leave any marks.

Coach: Boy, when they were handing out team spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?
Buffy: No. I was in the line for shred of sanity. Which you obviously skipped.

Willow: Everyone's accounted for, except Sean.
Cordelia: I think we can safely say we found Sean. He was in the pool, skinless dipping.

Buffy: Those boys really love their coach.

Xander: Turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my list of things to do before I turn 20.

Cordelia: I want you to know that you've really proven yourself to me and you don't have to join the team next year if you don't want  I'd be just as happy if you played football.