Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3, ep. 1 Quippy Quotes

The first episode of season three of Buffy finds Buffy in Los Angeles trying to run away from everything that transpired in the season two finale. Buffy is also running away from herself and her role as the Slayer. She is working as a waitress and goes by the name, Anne. And is she able to hide away from trouble? Oh, no. Trouble seems to follow the slayer wherever she goes.

And who, you ask is slaying the vampires in Sunnydale? The Scooby gang has taken on the very large task, and aren't quite as adept at it as Buffy. But you can't say they don't try.

Quotes:

Willow: Come and get it, big boy!

Willow: He's getting away! And... ow.

Xander: "Come and get it, big boy"?
Willow: Well. Well, the slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words. I think it throws the vampires off and it makes them frightened because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time.
Oz: Uh, if I may suggest, "This time it's personal." I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic.
Xander: I've always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but in a way I feel like we took her punning for granted.
Willow: Xander, past tense rule.

Xander: I can't wait to see Cordelia. I can't believe I can't wait to see Cordelia.
Willow: I wonder what our first homework assignment's gonna be. (Xander gives Willow a look) Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues.

Lily: Can we get cake?
Rickie: Don't be stupid. We gotta eat healthy. We can't get cake. (to Buffy) Can we get pie?
Buffy: We've got a peach pie. Can't guarantee there's a peach in it.

Willow: We still have glitches in the system, like vampires getting away.

Giles: If anything should happen to you, if you should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss.
Willow: You'd be cranky?
Giles: Entirely.
Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. "Don't get killed."

Cordelia: Las Palmas was the nightmare resort. They order you around and make you have organized "fun," and I use sarcastic quote marks. Plus the fact, there are cockroaches in Mexico big enough to own property.

Larry: If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna rule!

Xander: Boy, I'm glad we came for "depressing night."

Xander: The slaying isn't getting any easier either.
Oz: I don't know. I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down.
Xander: We're losing half the vamps.
Oz: Yea, but, rhythmically.

Buffy: So, this'll probably go faster if we split up.
Lily: Can I come with you?
Buffy: Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?
Lily: Oh. Sorry.

Doctor: What are you doing?
Buffy: Breaking into your office and going through your private files.

Doctor: You're getting yourself into a lot of trouble.
Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.

Cordelia: Why do I have to be bait? I'm always bait. Why can't Willow be bait.
Xander: He's already seen Willow. And can you complain louder so all the vampires leave?

Cordelia: Where do I hide?
Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.

Ken: Ow, my face! Do you have any idea how hard it is to glue that thing on?

Buffy: Anyone who's not having fun here, follow me.

Ken: That was not permitted.
Buffy: Yea, but it was fun.

Buffy: Ugh... Okay, this works the abs... and the glutes... Oh, I'm gonna feel this for a week.

Buffy: Let me give you the tour. This concludes our tour.