Cinematic Blast from the Past: Black Arrow

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You're feeling a little nostalgic, so you decide to watch a movie you loved when you were younger. When it starts, you're so excited, then after a while you realize that it isn't quite as good as you remember. It's a bit campy and silly, and the dialogue and some of the acting really is laughable.

And... it doesn't matter.

You still love it.

I can think of a dozen movies that fit this scenario. And every once in while I want to revisit those films. I can escape for a couple of hours and I'm taken back to my youth. It's the best.

One of these movies is Black Arrow, a Disney movie from 1985. It was on the Disney channel, when the cable channel actually showed classic Disney movies. The film, based on a novel by Robert Louis Stevenson, is set in 15th century England during the Wars of the Roses. One of the reasons I love rewatching this movie is that even when I was young, I knew that some of the acting and dialogue were quite ridiculous. I don't know if the overacting and campy delivery of lines were because of the director, or because of the campy dialogue. There are some good actors in the movie, and so I'm thinking it was probably a combination of both. The long pauses and close-up reaction shots of the actors were definitely a director's choice, and they just up the campiness.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some good things about Black Arrow. It has some good fight sequences, the story has intrigue and the plot is interesting. If you like historical fiction, then you're sure to enjoy it, especially if you're familiar with the history of the Wars of the Roses. And, Benedict Taylor isn't bad to look at, either. Especially with his 80's hair.

My sister and I used to quote the movie imitating the actors' delivery of the lines. When others were quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, my sister and I quoted Black Arrow.

I would love for this movie to be remade with the exact same dialogue and see if it might not be as campy if the dialogue is spoken without the overacting. It would be interesting to get the script and read through it with some of my actor friends and see if it could actually be a good movie. Or we might just laugh all the way through it. Who knows.

You might be able to find it on youtube. And if you watch it, I hope you enjoy it in all of its campiness, silliness, over-acting, and quotable quotes.

Below are my favorite quotes (some just because of the delivery):

Sir Daniel: To Sir Richard! A few minutes ago, a boy. Now, a man!

Sir Daniel: Revenge has a long memory, does it not?

Sir Daniel: He has plans. I have plans. We'll see whose are best.

Appleyard: Your meat must fill his belly.

Will: Remember, when properly used, the staff is mightier than the sword.

Black Arrow: If you cease to serve Sir Daniel, you might live to reach manhood. (regarding message) Take that to your master. Tell him, I wish him many sleepless nights.

Richard: What is your name?
Black Arrow: I'm called Black Arrow. It is enough.

Joanna: Why am I here?
Sir Daniel: I am your guardian. Why should you not be here?

Sir Daniel: Pretty flower. But the wrong color.
Joanna: My father thought not.

Sir Daniel: How like your flower you are. Very beautiful.
Joanna: And like my flower I have prickly thorns. So, I ask you again, why have your brought me here?

Scar: He must be very fast with a bow.
Richard: He is.

Richard: That man could choose the next King.
Joanna: But not the rightful one.
Richard: Like father, like daughter - rebellious.
Joanna: What do you know of my father, Yorkist?
Richard: He was a traitor. So it's said.
Joanna: To you and to your kind. But to others and to me... a hero.

Warwick: The killer instinct, Brackley. If I'm born again, I would like to be born a hawk.
Sir Daniel: And please God, I'm not born a hare.

Warwick: You might have a warm exterior, Brackley, but you've got a cold heart.

Dinner guest: More wine! More wine for my friend here. More wine. Haha.

Sir Daniel: Richard. She actually jumped the moat?
Richard: Yes.
Sir Daniel: What a bright dame she will be.

Sir Daniel: Poor Richard. Not having enough time to enjoy his inheritance.

Joanna: Him. It would have to be him.

Joanna: I needed your horse.
Richard: Well, I'll say this, you have spirit, girl.
Joanna: I'm Lady Joanna, and I'm nobody's girl.

Richard: Do we go?
Joanna: Do I have any choice?
Richard: I have my orders, and I'll obey them.
Joanna: You're nothing but Sir Daniel's lapdog.
Richard: Get on the horse.

Joanna: Murderer! You've killed him.
Scar: Where is the body?
Joanna: Swept away in the river. Murderer!

Black Arrow: Whoever did this can't be far away, Will. Take some men and find him. There are questions needing answers.

Warwick: You haven't said much on the way, Brackley. Nervous or something?
Sir Daniel: No, your Grace, I'm not nervous, Why should I be?
Warwick: Afraid the bride won't turn up, perhaps.
Sir Daniel: Why do you say that?
Warwick: I had a sudden vision of you, waiting at the altar for a bride who's changed her mind.
Sir Daniel: That will not happen to me.
Warwick: (laughs) Relax, my dear Brackley. I was only joking. (laughs)
Sir Daniel: Hahahahaha.

Will: Let the others go... on foot. This one... we take.

Richard: He's mine.
Black Arrow: You're wounded.
Richard: He's mine. Give him a sword.

Warwick: A union of spring and winter. How sad. Oh, well.

Oates: Trust me.(exits the room)
Warwick: I'd rather trust a fox.

Oates: My allegiance is to you, Sir Daniel, and to no one else. On my honor.
Sir Daniel: Your honor, sir, is buried as deep as Sykes and Appleyard.

Oates: The red rose or the white. Trust me.

Man: He's a thief. Let the dog have him.
Black Arrow: He may be a thief. But he's also a man.

Sir Daniel: Some women are never more beautiful than when they are angry.
Joanna: Then I shall be lovely whenever you are near.
Sir Daniel: (evil laugh) My dear Joanna. Calm yourself. Reflect. I am not an ogre. I think I will make you a very good husband. I shall be sensitive to your every wish.
Joanna: I'll have to be carried, screaming up the aisle.
Sir Daniel. Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear. Hannah, what shall we do with such a disobedient child?
Hannah: Beat her.
Sir Daniel: Yes, I'm sure you would. Go now.

Joanna: You're evil.
Sir Daniel: No, my dear. It is just that I believe that the ends justify the means. You either marry me or I kill you.

Black Arrow: Joanna. You must not marry Sir Daniel.
Joanna: I have to. I have to.
Black Arrow: Why? Why? (she leaves) Why!

Warwick: I know you. Richard, whatever your name is.

Warwick: I hate granting favors. They either cost me money or friends. Usually both.

Warwick: You see, Richard whatever-your-name-is. Justice must not only be done. It must be seen to be done.

Will: Helpless!
Black Arrow: Helpless. Helpless, helpless. I never felt so helpless!

Joanna: Your Grace.
Warwick: Yes, my dear.
Joanna: Do you know why I have to do this?
Warwick: I've been told. Yes.
Joanna: And you still let it happen?
Warwick: But of course.

Richard: No!
Will: No!
Black Arrow: No! You! Violator of England!

Oates: Purger-er! Murderer!

Sir Daniel: Out of my way, boy.

Black Arrow: It is done.

My Favorite Movies: The Rage of Paris

A while ago, a coworker asked me what my favorite movie was. I'm sure he was thinking I would respond with a title he had heard before, such as Casablanca, Star Wars or The Princess Bride. He seemed surprised when I named a little-known black and white film from 1938, The Rage of Paris.
It stars Danielle Darrieux, a popular French actress at the time, who made only a few films in the United States, and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. It's not a masterpiece, or even what you would call a "great" movie, but I like everything about it: the script, the characters, the acting, the perfect comic timing, the witty word-play, the chemistry between the two leads, and the 1930's fashion. With this movie, it's all about the journey - and what an enjoyable romp of a journey it is. 

Synopsis:

Nicole (Danielle Darrieux) has no job and is several weeks behind with her rent at the boarding house where she's been living. Her solution is to try and snare a rich husband. Enlisting the help of her friend Gloria (Helen Broderick) and Mike, the head waiter at a ritzy New York City hotel (Mischa Auer), the trio devise a plot for Nicole to catch the eye of Bill Duncan (Louis Hayward), a handsome millionaire staying at the hotel. Nicole's plan may be thwarted by Bill's friend, Jim Trevor (Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.), who met Nicole when she was still down on her luck, and sees through her plot.

Quotes:

Nicole: Good afternoon.
Receptionist: What do you want please?
Nicole: I'd like to have a job.
Receptionist: Are you registered here?
Nicole: Well, no I'm not. I've never been --
Receptionist: We're not registering any new girls. (answers the phone) Towers Model Agency. Good afternoon. (pause) You have the wrong number. I'm sorry.
Nicole: I'm sorry too.

Mr. Wright: You're French, eh?
Nicole: Yes, I'm French. But it would show on the pictures.

Mr. Wright: I have a job for you to pose with drapes.
Model: For how much?
Mr. Wright: Two seventy-five an hour. He wants you three hours a day for about ten weeks.
Model: That's no job. That's a career.

Nicole: You are Mr. James Trevor, no?
Jim: I am Mr. James Trevor, yes.

Nicole: I'm sorry I'm not ready. I know you are very impatient.
Jim: No, I'm just curious. Would you mind telling me what this is all about, or is that asking too much?
Nicole: Pardon?
Jim: What is this all for?
Nicole: Two dollars and seventy-five cents an hour.
Jim: Oh, for two seventy-five an hour.
Nicole: Is it too much?
Jim: Oh no, no, no. As a matter of fact it's quite reasonable. I was just thinking that it's worth that to find out what happens next.

Nicole: You are the certain Mr. Trevor, no?
Jim: I am Mr. James Trevor, but not very certain.

Nicole: Where are the draps [drapes]?
Jim: What?
Nicole: You have the draps?
Jim: I don't know. I had the measles. What are the draps like?

Nicole: You're a photographer, no?
Jim: That's where you've got me. I'm a photographer. No.

Jim: Well, gentlemen. There must be a moral in there somewhere. So will you all go back to your offices and try to find out what that is?

Landlady: On your way!
Nicole: But you can't do this. You must help me.
Landlady: If you want help, get it from Washington.
Gloria: Washington's dead, haven't you heard?

Landlady: You keep out of this, Miss Patterson.
Gloria: I pay seven dollars a week in this fire trap, and if there's any fun going on, I want to be in on it.

Old male boarder: Stop this clacker. I'm trying to think!
Gloria: It's all right, the evil queen is trying slip Snow White the apple again.

Landlady: She's four days behind in her rent.
Gloria: And you're two weeks behind with your hot water.
Landlady: I have to live too, you know.
Gloria: Why?
Landlady: Don't you talk to me like that!
Gloria: I'll do better than that. I won't even talk to you at all. And I'll pay her rent!

Nicole: Why are you always so good me?
Gloria: Oh, I suppose you have to be good to something, and my dog died a week before you moved in here.

Nicole: Did you marry a rich husband?
Gloria: I married a hoofer. All he had was a time step and a shuffle off to buffalo. Late in life in got ambitious.
Nicole: And got rich?
Gloria: And got 20 years.

Gloria: This kid wants a job.
Mike: Job?
Gloria: Yes, she's one of those rare people who really want to work for a living.

Gloria: Look at those girls in there. That's where you belong. Not in a kitchen. The way to a man's heart is through his eyes, baby. That's the modern version. He believes what he sees and takes bicarbonate of soda for his indigestion instead of a wife that can cook. Those women spend three billion dollars a year in beauty parlors and not for cook books.
Nicole: You're very hard to understand sometimes.
Gloria: Seventy percent of all the money in America is in the hands of women. You understand that, don't you?
Nicole: Yes, but --
Gloria: And if the boys don't look out, the girls will be the other thirty percent.

Hotel Manager: We want your stay with us to be a memorable and enjoyable one. Because we feel that there isn't a hotel in America that is so well equipped as ours to make you as comfortable as you were in the home you just left.
Gloria: What a sweet thought.

Nicole (regarding fur coat): Oh, oh, it's a dream.
Mike: It costs 30.00 a day to rent the coat. It's no dream, it's a nightmare.

Gloria: She's such a child.
Mike: And while she's growing up it's costing me 60.00 a day for this suite. And that's a little over four cents a minute.
Gloria: If you lose one penny on this deal I'll give you my right eye.
Mike: And I'll take it.

Gloria: If I just had my boots and saddle.

Bill: When did you get the mustache?
Jim: That's something I picked up when I had the flu.

Jim: Who are you with?
Bill: A girl.
Jim: A local one?
Bill: No, she's from Paris.
Jim: Kentucky?
Bill: France.

Bill: Do you still like brunettes?
Jim: Sure, you know me.
Bill: Well fine, she's a blonde.

Girl in restaurant: I want ham and eggs.

Mike: I have a beautiful table for three.
Gloria (whispers to Mike): I wish you were right.
Bill: Make it for four, Mike.
Mike: Right this way, please. (to Gloria) Why four?
Gloria: We're having company for supper.
Mike: Who?
Gloria: Trouble.
Mike: On my money, having trouble for supper.

Jim: How long have you been in New York, mademoiselle?
Nicole: Oh, well I...
Bill: Just a week. She arrived the same day I did.
Jim: A week? I would have said you'd been here much longer.
Gloria: Oh, uh, she fools everyone.
Jim: I'm sure she does.

Nicole: Go ahead, I can took it.

Jim: Sorry I've been rough on you, but war is war.
Nicole: You said it, Mr. Trevor.

Bill: Nice friend I have.
Gloria: I've heard that man's best friend is always the dog.

Bill: I can't understand it. He's changed so completely, inside a year too.
Gloria: I knew a man once whose hair turned white overnight.
Bill: Well, I wouldn't believe it about Jim, unless I'd seen it.
Gloria: You know, this man wouldn't believe it about his hair until he became bald the following night. But that convinced him.

Mike: The young lady in your party forgot her wrap.
Jim: It wasn't my party, and she's not a lady.
Mike: Oh, I'm sorry sir, but I'm sure you know your friends better than I do.

Nicole: That's the first time anyone has ever said anything like that to me before.
Gloria: Said what?
Nicole: He said I'm cheap.
Gloria: Well, you certainly paid him back for that.
Mike: In spades! He's got some nerve! Cheap. I've figured out just now how much it costs. Eighty seven dollars and fifty cents in rental. Cheap. What does he want you to wear, radium?
Nicole: He meant I was dishonest.
Gloria: Darling, all women are dishonest. If they weren't, the world would be divided into two classes of people: old maids and bachelors. Look (rubs off Nicole's lipstick), that's dishonest. Plucking your eyebrows is dishonest. The rouge on your cheeks is dishonest. And a fat women in a girdle... ha! that's highway robbery.

Mike: I started out to get a restaurant, and now I'll be lucky if I end up with a ham sandwich.

Rigley (Jim's valet): It's a dangerous business interfering between a man and a maid.
Jim: Yes, Rigley. I know when I'm in trouble without you telling me.
Rigley: There was a similar situation in my own family, sir. As a matter of fact, that's the way my second cousin lost his right eye.
Jim: Mr. Duncan's my best friend. That's the only reason I'm doing this.
Rigley: It was my second cousin's brother, sir, that knocked out my second cousin's eye.

Jim (on the phone with Nicole): Hello. Is the the rage of Paris, or the pride of Hoboken, or whatever you're calling yourself today?

Jim: You're going to have dinner with me tonight.
Nicole: What! Oh, oh no, I don't like you. I'm sorry.
Jim: Well, I'm not sorry at all, but you're still going to have dinner with me at 7:30 sharp.

Jim: Did you hear that, Rigley?
Rigley: Do you want me to, sir?
Jim: I do.
Rigley: I did.

Jim: I'm sorry, my dear, but the age of chivalry is dead. And when I come back I'll take you to the funeral.

Uncle Eric: I think your niece resembles you quite a lot. Or should I say you resemble your niece.
Gloria: Oh, it doesn't matter. We all look alike in our family.
Uncle Eric: Haha! I'm glad we don't in ours.

Jim: You're working on borrowed time anyway. I should have fired you last Tuesday.
Rigley: Why don't you fire me now, sir.
Jim: Well, if you do a good job tonight, perhaps I will.
Rigley: Thank you very much, sir.

Nicole: Just wait, I make a lot of trouble for you.
Jim: Go ahead, I can took it.

Jim: Watch you step. It's rough here. I don't want you to break your neck.
Nicole: I'm sorry I can't wish you the same.

Nicole: What's a hog.
Jim: A hog is a very big pig.
Nicole: Now I could say something. (pause) But I don't.

Pops: It's been so long since you've been up here that I was beginning to commence to forget what you look like.

Nicole: Now I go on a sit-down strike.
Jim: Then I'd better get you a coat.
Nicole: No. I don't want any coat. I'm going to get pneumonia and die. Then what will you do with the body?

Nicole: Don't be mad, Jimmy.

Nicole: Mr. Pops, where is the telephone?
Pops: Right over there. But it ain't connected.
Nicole: Not connected? But can't you make it connected?
Pops: Oh sure. I'll notify the company first thing tomorrow. They'll send a man out to fix it... in about a week or 10 days. That's what they call service or something. But I've got another name for it.

Jim: I always thought the French like to eat.
Nicole: Yes, but they're very particular.
Jim: About their food?
Nicole: About who they eat with.

Jim: I come from a long line of hunters.
Nicole: No, I think you come from a long line of sour pusses.

Nicole: All the fresh air is outside, and inside, there's nothing.

Nicole: I think I'm going to look out of the window, if you don't mind.
Jim: No, no, it all comes with the dinner.

Nicole: Can't you go any faster?
Truck driver: Sure. But I ain't allowed to leave the truck.

Mike: So, it's all over but the shouting. Well, that's life. You take a chance, and draw a blank.
Gloria: It's finally got him.

Gloria: You know, something tells me I'm going in the restaurant business myself.

Rigley: Before you do this, sir. Let me tell you about an incident in which my second cousin, One Eye Rigley, was involved.

Mike: I'm gonna name a dish after her.
Gloria: Yeah, what?
Mike: On the regular dollar dinner in our new restaurant the frogs legs will always be called "a la Cortillion."
Gloria. Don't forget to name the mashed potatoes after me.

Jim: You have the draps, no? You are the certain mademoiselle de Cortillion, no?


Watch it on Youtube.

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: season 3, ep. 17, Quippy Quotes

It's been a while since I've had a good binge-watch of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. As I've been watching some of my favorite episodes, I remembered how quotable the show is. Well, I guess I never really forgot, but I decided it's time to start posting Buffy quotes again.

So, picking up where I left off so long ago, on to season 3's episode, "Enemies."

This episode has one of the best "I didn't see that coming" moments. If you've never seen the episode before, I envy you the thrill of that twist, because after you've seen it, you'll never get that "whaaaaat?" moment ever again. It's kind of like after you see The Sixth Sense the first time, you'll never look at Bruce Willis's character the same the next time you watch it.

If you've yet to see this episode, I recommend that you don't read the rest of this post, because there are ***Spoilers ahead.*** Just come back after you've watched the episode.

I'm going to repeat this ***Spoiler ahead. *** Don't read the rest of the post until you've seen the episode. I really don't want to ruin the surprise. Okay, you've been warned. It's not my fault if you don't head my warning. *wink*

Two important things happen in "Enemies:" 1) Buffy and the Scooby gang discover that Faith has slipped over to the dark side, and 2) Angelus returns.

Yes, this episode gave David Boreanaz the chance to inhabit the character of Angelus again, which means he can show a different emotion other than aloofness, internal torment, and angst. David has some great subtle expressions after the Shaman takes his soul away, where you can glimpse Angel behind the mask, being tormented by what he has to do. When the Mayor takes the letter opener out of his hand that Angelus just threw at him, and the wound heals instantly, you can see Angel’s look of discomfort and surprise. Angelus never would have reacted like that. Or, when he is chaining Buffy to the wall, there's a look that passes between them, as if he's saying, "Sorry."

Speaking of Angel's personality in Buffy (when he isn't Angelus), how do you play a character who is a 200ish year-old Irish vampire who has tortured and killed for centuries, who gets his soul back when he's cursed by a gypsy, and is immediately racked with guilt for all of the horrible things he's done? It isn't like you can rely on The Method for that. *wink*

Quotes:

Angel: I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed.

Angel: Feels nice – to feel.

Demon: Ow! What are you, nuts? Going around punching people?

Buffy: People?

Demon: So, what, I’m a demon. That makes it okay?

Mayor: And what exactly did this demon look like?

Faith: Demonic.

Mayor: First, you load up on calcium, you find that demon, kill the heck out of him, and bring the books to me.

Mayor: Oh, come on, drink up. There’s nothing uncool about healthy teeth and bones.

Wesley: And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.

Giles: Demons wanting money. What ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Giles: There's a reference here to the journal of Desmond Kane, pastor of a town called Sharpsville. "May 26, 1723. Tomorrow is the Ascension. God help us all." It was the last anyone heard.

Wesley: Of Kane?

Giles: Of Sharpsville.

Cordelia: What are you doing Friday night?

Wesley: Uh, uh, as always my sacred duty as a Watcher prevents me from... Why?

Cordelia: I have a paper to write for English, and you're English, so I thought...

[at everyone's looks]

Cordelia: What? Is it so wrong to be getting an insider's perspective?

[to Wesley]

Cordelia: I study best in a good restaurant, around eightish? Think it over?

[she leaves]

Xander: And on the day the words "flimsy excuse" were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.

Angel: It’s okay.

Faith: No, it’s a couple of counties over from okay.

Mayor: There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true.

Wesley: Find anything?

Giles: Six course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod all as a palette cleanser.

Wesley: Wait for Faith.

Buffy: That could be hours. The girl makes Godot look punctual.

Xander: Found your demon. I beat it out of Willie the Snitch personally.

Buffy: You beat up Willie?

Xander: Sure. Well, actually, let’s just say I applied some pressure. Or more accurately, that I asked politely, and then… Okay, I bribed him.

Buffy: How much?

Xander: Twenty-eight bucks. Does the council reimburse for that kind of stuff?

Giles: Did you get a receipt?

Buffy: It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.

Giles: Again, see? No standards. Any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.

Buffy: I went to Angel's last night, and Faith was there. They looked sort of... intimate.

Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking, and no way.

Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that.

Willow: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the "do that" girl.

Buffy: Comfort, remember? Comfort here.

Willow: I mean, please. Does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see... is he breathing?

Buffy: Actually, no.

Willow: Buffy, I too know the love of a taciturn man, and you have to look at their actions.

Buffy: I was.

Faith: You wanna be smart, you listen to me.

Angel: Funny thing about vampires, Faith. We don’t establish meaningful dialogue with slayers.

Wesley: We seem consistently to be one step behind him. Now he has the Books of Ascension. We must take definitive action.

Cordelia: You have the greatest voice. Have you ever thought of doing books on tape?

Xander: Way to stay focused, C.C.

Buffy: I’ll go home and stock on weapons. Slip into something a little more “break-and-enterish.”

Giles: Wesley, why don’t you take the group and start looking.

Cordelia: I’m in Wesley’s group.

Wesley: Right.

Giles: There is just the one group.

Cordelia: Yes. And I’m in it.

Mayor: No trouble with the transition? No side effects?

Angel: Had a soul. Now I’m free.

Mayor: That’s terrific! Poetic too. Not that I read much poetry. Except for the little ones in Reader Digest. You know, some of them are quite catchy.

Mayor: My question is, now that Faith has brought you back, what are your intentions?

Angel: Well, gee, sir, I thought I’d find that slayer that’s giving you so much trouble and torture, maim, and kill her.

Mayor: Fine. You know, it’s nice to see you’re not one of those slacker types running around town today.

Mayor (to Angel, regarding Faith): Try to have her home by eleven.

Angel: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell.

Buffy: No...

Angel: Yeah, and I'm just wonderin', where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration?

Buffy: Faith, listen to me. Angel’s a killer. When he’s done with me, he’ll turn on you.

Angel: She’s right. I probably will.

Faith: No one can stop the Ascension. Mayor's got it wired, B. He built this town for demons to feed on, and come graduation day, he's gettin' paid. And I'll be sittin' at his right hand - assuming he has hands after the transformation, I'm not too clear on that part.

Buffy: I never knew you had so much rage in you.

Faith: What can I say? I'm the world's best actor.

Angel: Second best.

Willow: His debt to you is repaid? What did you do?

Giles: I introduced him to his wife.

Willow: At least Angel’s not bad, though. That’s good, right?

Xander: Yes. I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a good way. It’s a good bruise.

Mayor: I've got two words that are gonna make all the pain go away. Miniature. Golf.

Angel: You still my girl?

Buffy: Always.

I am Now a Tweeter

When I started my other blog, What People are Saying (whatpeoplearesaying.wordpress.com), my friend told me that Twitter would be another perfect place to post quotes (what with the 140 character limit and all). Well, it's taken me a few years, but I finally did it. I am now tweeting. If you'd like to follow me, you can find me at sukillama. I tweet more than just quotes, but doesn't everyone? ;-)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: season 3, ep. 16, Quippy Quotes

Vampire Willow is back in "Doppelgangland." Anya recruits Willow to help her use magic to get her amulet back so she can become a demon again. Instead of bringing back the amulet, they bring Vamp Willow into their world that we met in the alternate universe in "The Wish."

This is a great Willow-centric episode, and one of my all time favorites. Willow feels like everyone thinks she's boring and predictable, and people treat her like a doormat. When she has to pretend to be vampy Willow to save everyone in the Bronze from vampires, she takes on the role with a little trepidation, but then she puts all she has into the role. My favorite moment in the entire episode is when our Willow, pretending to be vampy Willow, gives a little smile and wave to Oz in the Bronze to let him know it's her.

Anya is also back, we can never get enough of Anya, and her wonderful "humanness."

Quotes:

Anya: For a 1,000 years I wielded the powers of the wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasures of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math.

Anya: Do you know how boring 12th graders are?

Buffy: The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.s, Rorschach, associative logic. He even has that test to see if you're crazy, that asks if you've ever heard voices, or if you ever wanted to be a florist.
Willow: Ooh, I used to want... Wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.

Willow: How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? (laughs) Buff, Buff.

Buffy: I know that Faith's not going to be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she's had it rough.

Buffy: Emotional control?
Willow: I'm working on it.

Principal Snyder (to Willow): I want you to tutor him. Percy is flunking history. Nothing seems to be able to motivate him.
Percy: Hey, I'm challenged.
Snyder: You are lazy, self-involved and spoiled. That's quite a challenge.

Buffy: So, he threatened you? With what?
Willow: Well, it wasn't exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes.

Faith: You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring.

Faith: Thanks, sugar daddy.
Mayor: Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend.

Oz (to Willow): There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own.

Willow: Where were you yesterday?
Oz: We got back late. Sort of very.

Willow: Maybe I would have liked to go.
Oz: Didn't figure you for missing school.
Willow: You think I'm boring.
Oz: I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text.

Willow (taking out a banana): I'm eating this now. It's not lunchtime. I don't even care.

Buffy (to Xander, re: Willow): See, I told you, Old Reliable.
Willow: Oh, thanks.
Buffy: What?
Willow: Old Reliable? Yea, great. There's a sexy nickname.
Buffy: Well, I didn't mean it as --
Willow: No. It's fine. I'm Old Reliable.
Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot --
Willow: That's Old Yeller.
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.

Willow: Maybe I'm just some doormat person. Homework gal.
Xander: I'm thinking nerve strike.

Buffy: Willow, wait. I'm really sorry.
Willow: Buffy, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.

Anya: I'm kind of new here. I know Cordelia.
Willow: Oh, fun.
Anya: Listen, I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if --
Willow: Yea, that's me. Reliable dog geyser person.

Willow: Okay, that was a little blacker than I like my arts.

Anya: Look, we'll just try it again. And --
Willow: No. I think emphatically not.

Willow: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have someone else's homework to do.

Vamp Willow: This is weird.

Song sung as the Bronze: There's a chair in my head/In which I used to sit/Took a pencil and I wrote/The following on it/Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be/Dig it up and throw it at me/Dig it up and throw it at me

Vamp Willow: Xander.
Xander: Will, changing the look, not an idle threat with you.

Vamp Willow: I don't like you.
Buffy: Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth.

Giles (re: Willow): She was truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me.
Giles: Much, much better.

Buffy: Willow, you're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?

Willow (after Buffy and Xander start hugging her): Okay, oxygen becoming an issue.

Willow: It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?

Buffy: Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation anytime soon?
Giles: Well, uh, something... something very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

Anya: Give me a beer.
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: I'm 1,120 years old! Just give my a friggin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya (sighs): Give me a coke.

Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies..
Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords.
Devon: That's just like fruity jazz bands.

Vampire: All right. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave, and nobody gets hurt.
Angel: Why don't I believe him?
Oz: Well, he lacks credibility.

Vamp Willow: Questions? Comments?

Angel: Buffy, I... Something's happened that... Willow's dead. (sees "our" Willow) Hi, Willow. Wait a second.
Xander: We're right there with you, Buddy.

Vamp Willow (re: our Willow): Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy.

Willow: This just can't get more disturbing.

Vamp Willow: You don't want to play? I guess I can't force you. Oh, wait. I can.

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.
Angel: Well, actually -- That's a good point.

Xander: So, we charge in, much in the style of John Wayne?

Angel (re: the vampires): They must really be afraid of you.
Willow: Who wouldn't be.
Buffy: Are you okay in that?
Willow: It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe.

Buffy: First sign of trouble you give us the signal. We come in hard and fast.
Xander: What's the signal?
Willow: Me screaming.

Buffy: Are you sure you're up to this?
Willow: Don't worry. I won't do anything that can be interpreted as brave.

Anya: Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.

Willow (as vampy Willow, talking about herself): She bothered me. She's so weak and accommodating. She's always letting people walk all over her, and then she gets all cranky with her friends for no reason. I just couldn't let her live.

Vamp Willow (waking up in Willow's clothes): Oh, this is a nightmare.

Cordelia: What? Do I have something on my neck?
Vamp Willow: Not yet.

Cordelia: I should just leave you in there, but I am a great humanitarian, and you will just have to think of a way to pay me back sometime.
Vamp Willow: Okay. How about dinner?

Wesley: Was that...?
Cordelia: Willow. They got Willow. So, are you doing anything tonight?

Anya: I think he should eat you.
Willow: This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. I'm a blood-sucking fiend. Look at my outfit.
Vampire: A human. I should have smelled it right away.
Willow: A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? (screams)
Anya: Sure.
Vampire: Yea. I think, yea.
Anya: Human do that.

Willow (punches Anya): Ow, ow, ow! Happy, but ow.

Willow: Nice reflexes.
Buffy: Well, I work out.

Vamp Willow: This world's no fun.
Willow: You noticed that too?

Buffy: There but for the grace of getting bit.

Vamp Willow: Oh, f ---

Willow: Between me and my evil self, I've double guilt coupons.

Buffy: You wanna go out tonight?
Willow: Nine sound good?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: season 3, ep. 15, Quippy Quotes

After having killed the mayor's assistant, Faith begins her descent to the "dark side."

Faith thinks that because she's a slayer and she's saved thousands of people that she's better than anybody else and she can do whatever she wants. She wants to believe that so she doesn't have to feel the guilt for killing a man.

The more that everybody says they want to help Faith, and the more that she refuses the help, the more she slips to the bad side. Until, eventually, she totally embraces the bad side, and decides to side with the one person who can help her keep the guilty feelings at bay. The Mayor.

Quotes:

Cordelia: Don't let me interrupt. Wait, let me interrupt. I'm in a hurry.

Cordelia (re: Wesley): Check out Giles, the next generation.

Wesley: Does everybody know about you?
Buffy: She's a friend.
Cordelia: Let's not exaggerate.

Wesley: Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.
Cordelia: I like a man with two last names.

Wesley: My. She's... cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word "jail," second word, "bait."

Mayor: Usually using a shredder gives me a lift. It's fun.

Faith: I'm not lookin' to hug and cry and learn and grow.

Faith: So his papers are gone. That doesn't prove anything.
Buffy: Except that somebody didn't want us to prove anything.

Willow: I've been letting things fester, and I don't like it. I wanna be fester-free.

Willow: Maybe we should all talk to Faith together.
Buffy: You mean, like that intervention thing that you guys did on me? As I recall, Xander and I nearly came to blows.
Xander: Uh, you nearly came to blows, Buffy. I nearly came to loss of limbs.

Angel: Sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you. Actually, it is that I don't trust you.

Angel: You want to go the long way around? Hey, I can do that. I'm not getting any older.

Mayor (watching the footage of Buffy and Faith sneaking into ___ office): Here comes my favorite part. Where the slayers see us in the hall together, thick as thieves. Oh, wait, we are thieves, and worse, and now they know it.

Angel: You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yea? I hope evil takes MasterCard.

Mr. Trick: Oh, no. No, this is no good at all.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: season 3, ep. 14, Quippy Quotes

"Bad Girls" is a very important episode in season 3.  A major event happens that causes Faith to turn to the "dark side," and sets up the  eventual face-off between our two slayers. We also meet Wesley, a new Watcher. Wesley's time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was brief, but that lead to his significant part in Angel. Wesley knows what it means to be a Watcher, he just doesn't know what it means to kills demons. He's got the book-learnin', but he's a bit green in the field.

Faith's view of being a slayer is very different from Buffy's. Buffy sees it as a "calling." It's her duty to rid the world of demons, and her role as a slayer has rules. Faith sees being a slayer as having power. She thinks that a slayer is above the law - to Faith there are no rules. In this episode Faith's view of slaying starts to rub off on Buffy. And then something happens that sends Faith to a place where Buffy can no longer reach her, and the consequences will eventually lead to the "end-of-the-world" season finale.

Aside: Balthazar reminds me of Jabba the Hut (except with a human-looking head), and a little bit of Cassandra from the "New Earth" episode of Doctor Who. I'm just waiting for him to say, "Moisturize me, moisturize me!" *wink* The closest he gets is "Moisten the front." End of aside.

Quotes:

Faith: You think too much.
Buffy: Hey, there's one more.
Faith: How do you know?
Buffy: I think too much.

Buffy: K, count of three. One...
[Faith attacks the vampire]
Buffy: Three.

Faith: Nicely diverted, B.
Buffy: Diverted? That was me, fighting for my life, Miss Attention Span.
Faith: This isn't a Tupperware party. It's a little hard to plan.
Buffy: The count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street.

Mayor: I just love The Family Circus. That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.

Mayor: Where's the owner of these fine implements?
Mr. Trick: The common term is "slain."

Xander: Is anyone else intimidated? Because I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words, "No way," written in crayon.
Oz: They're typing those now.

Willow: I'm so overwhelmed! I... I got in! To actual colleges! And... and they're wooing me! They're pitching the woo.
Buffy: The wooing stage is always fun.

Xander: I feel your pain, Wil. Like, right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waiting to hear back from the Corndog Emporium, so...

Cordelia: That's so cute. Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge.
Xander: The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase, everyone.

Xander: I'm not gonna waste the perfect comeback on you now, but don't think I don't have it. Oh, yes, its time will come.

Willow: Chemistry's easy. It's a lot like witchcraft, only less newt.

Wesley: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.
Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Wesley: Vampires?
Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Wesley: A good slayer is a cautious slayer.
Buffy (to Giles): Is he evil?
Giles: Not in the strictest sense.

Wesley: Why don't you tell me about last night's patrol.
Buffy: Vampires.
Wesley: Yes?
Buffy: Killed 'em.

Wesley: I didn't get this job because of my looks.
Buffy: I really, really believe that.

Wesley: I don't want to bore you with the details.
Buffy: A little bit late.

Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says, "Please." And afterwards I get a cookie.

Buffy: Don't say anything incredibly interesting while I'm gone.

Faith: Slaying's what we were built for. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.

Buffy: Wait, stop! Think!
Faith: No, no. No!

Wesley: These are all the diaries, then? Yours included?
Giles: That's everything. Knock yourself out. Please?

Wesley: Here's you first entry. "Slayer is willful and insolent." That would be our girl, wouldn't it?
Giles: Well, you have to get to know her.
Wesley: "Her abuse of the English language is such that I understand only every other sentence." This is going to make fascinating reading.

Buffy: I hate it when they drown me.

Giles: Are you all right?
Buffy: I had to lather, rinse and repeat about 5 million times to get the sewer out of my hair, but otherwise, I'm of the good.

Wesley: Remember, the three key words of any slayer are preparation, preparation, preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy: I have a chem test. So sad that I'm actually happy about that.

Wesley: You're not helping.
Giles: I know. I feel just sick about it.

Xander: Can we resume Buffy's "Ode to Faith" later, like when I'm not actively multiple-choicing?

Wesley: Ah. There you are.
Buffy: Ah. Speak of the really annoying person.

Buffy: Okay, we got 10, maybe 12 bad guys, and one big demon in desperate need of a Stairmaster.

Buffy: We need a little more fire power than none.

Faith: When you gonna get this, B? Life for a slayer is very simple. Want, take, have.

Wesley: It's simply time for somebody else to take the field.
Giles: Now's a good time to start.

Wesley: What is that thing?
Giles: That would be your demon. You know, the dead one?
Wesley: There's no need to get snippy.

Balthazar: You know what I want.
Giles: If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request that you kill me now.

Balthazar: Slayer. You think you've won. When he rises... you'll wish I'd killed you all.

Mayor: I don't understand why Alan would miss this. He's usually so punctual.

Mayor: This officially commences the hundred days. Nothing can harm me until the ascension. [begins to laugh] Gosh, I'm feeling chipper. Who's for a root beer?

Favorite Doctor Who Episodes: New Earth

Rose begins her travels with the new Doctor. And what more appropriate place for Rose to go with the new Doctor, but New Earth? David Tennant shows in this episode why he was such a great choice to play the Doctor. He shows the excitement of what it is to be a Time Lord and travel through time and space.

I love that this episode has a tie-in to the second episode of season one, "The End of the World." We meet Cassandra again. Surprising, yes, I know, after what happened to her in "The End of the World." We see her little mechanical spiders again. In this episode she has a new companion to moisturize her, Chip. We also get to see the Face of Boe again. It's so much more significant to see him when you find out the truth of the Face of Boe in a future episode. But I won't spoil that for you here.

The scene where the Doctor and Rose are in separate elevators getting "disinfected" is so funny. The Doctor is just taking it in stride, and Rose is freaking out. Great bit.

The best part of this episode is when Cassandra "inhabits" Rose and Doctor's bodies. When she is moving back and forth from Rose to Doctor the acting is so great. I especially love when she goes into the Doctor's body the first time.

This episode reminds me of how much I miss the Russell Davies era of Doctor Who. I like the stand-alone episodes where the Doctor takes his companion to a new world, in another time, to see the universe. Stephen Moffat has had some good stand-alone episodes, and I don't mind having a large story arc throughout the season, but I don't like to have some kind of mystery that you have to figure out through the season. I'd rather just have great episodes that don't keep bringing up more and more questions. The only question from this episode is: what is the Face of Boe's secret? Hmm.

Quotes:

Rose: So, where are we going?
Doctor: Further than we've ever gone before.

Rose: I'll never get used to this. Never. Different ground beneath my feet. Different sky.

Rose: Can I just say, traveling with you... I love it.
Doctor: Me too.

Doctor: So, the year five billion, the sun expands, the Earth gets roasted.
Rose: That was our first date.
Doctor: We had chips.

Doctor: It's New New York. Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original. So, that makes it New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York.

Rose: You're so different.
Doctor: New new Doctor.

Cassandra: Rose Tyler! I knew it! That dirty blonde assassin.

Cassandra: At last I can be revenged on that little ---
[cut to Rose and the Doctor]
Rose: A bit rich, coming from you.
Doctor: I can't help it. I don't like hospitals. They give me the creeps.

Doctor: No shop. I like the little shop.

Doctor: That's where I'd put the shop - right over there.

Doctor [from the elevator]: Watch out for the disinfectant.
Rose [from outside the elevator]: Watch out for what?
Doctor: The disinfectant!
Rose: The what!
Doctor: The disin... Oh, you'll find out.

Rose: Um, ward 26. Thanks.

Doctor: Nice place. No shop downstairs. I'd have a shop. Not a big one, just a shop. So people can... shop.
Sister Jatt: The hospital is a place of healing.
Doctor: Well, a shop does some people a world of good. Not me. Other people.

Doctor: Petrified regression. He's turning to stone. There won't be a cure for a thousand years. He might be up and about, but only as a statue.

Novice Hame: He's thousands of years old, some say millions, although that's impossible.
Doctor: Oh, I don't know. I like impossible.

Rose: Don't you come anywhere near me, Cassandra.
Cassandra: What do you think I'm going to do, flap you do death?
Rose: Yea, but what about Gollum?

Cassandra: It's goodbye trampoline and hello blondie!

Rose/Cassandra: I'm a chav!*

Rose/Cassandra: Look at me! From class to brass.

Rose/Cassandra: It's like living inside a bouncy castle.

Rose/Cassandra: That man, he's the Doctor. The same Doctor with a new face. The hypocrite! I must get the name of his surgeon.

Rose/Cassandra: How does she speak?
Chip: Old earth cockney.
Rose (on her cell to the Doctor): Wotcha.
Doctor: Where've you been? How long does it take to get to ward 26?
Rose: I'm on my way, guv'nor. I shall proceed up the apples and pears.

Duke of Manhattan (to the Doctor): Come in! Don't be shy.
Fran Clovis: Any friendship expressed by the Duke of Manhattan does not constitute a form of legal contract.

Doctor: How on Earth did you cure him?
Matron Casp: How on New Earth, you might say.

Rose/Cassandra: I can't Adam and Eve it.
Doctor: What's... what's with the new voice.
Rose/Cassandra: Oh, I don't know. Just larking about. New Earth. New me.
Doctor: Well, I can talk. New new Doctor.

Doctor: Yea. Still got it.

Doctor: Intensive care. Certainly looks intensive.

Doctor: Just let Rose go, Cassandra.
Rose/Cassandra: I will. As soon as I find someone younger and less common.

Rose/Cassandra: You're not exactly nuns with guns. You're not even armed.
Matron Casp: Who needs arms when we have claws.

Doctor/Cassandra: Oh my, this is... different.
Rose: Cassandra?
Doctor/Cassandra: Goodness me, I'm a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used. Oh! Ah! And two hearts! Oh, baby, I'm beating out a samba.

Doctor (to Matron Casp): Go and play with a ball of string.

Rose/Cassandra: Oh, chav-tastic again.

Doctor/Cassandra: No matter how difficult the situation, there is no need to shout.

Rose/Cassandra: They're so alone. They keep reaching out, just to hold us. All their lives, and they've never been touched.

Rose/Cassandra: The lifts aren't working.
Doctor: Not moving. Different thing.

Doctor (to Rose/Cassandra): If you're so desperate to stay alive, why don't you live a little?

Rose/Cassandra: You're completely mad. I can see why she likes you.

Doctor: I'm cooking up a cocktail. I know a bit about medicine myself.

Rose/Cassandra: What about you?
Doctor: I've got an appointment. The Doctor is in.

Doctor: Pass it on!

Rose/Cassandra: Did you kill them? All of them?
Doctor: No. That's your way of doing things. I'm the Doctor, and I cured them.

Doctor: Like will out! Hah!

Doctor: You were supposed to be dying.
Face of Boe: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait.

Doctor: That is enigmatic. That is... that is text-book enigmatic.

Rose: Hello.
Doctor: Hello. Welcome back.

Chip/Cassandra: I'm a walking doodle.


*A working-class youth, especially one associated with aggression, poor education, and a perceived "common" taste in clothing and lifestyle.

Smash: The Tony's

I guess I really have to accept it now. This was the last episode of Smash. The show is over. The curtain has come down on a show that I was so excited about when I first heard about it. A show that had some great moments, some great music, some great singing, some great acting, and some great musical numbers. A show that was about my passion: theatre. A show that had some bumps and misses along the way, but one that I am sorry will never have a chance to meet its potential and be really great.

So, here it is... my final recap. Although, it may not be my final post on Smash, because I may find I have more to say, who knows.

Observations:

"Under Pressure" is an example of what I love about Smash. It's a great number, bringing together all of our main characters. We get to hear Julia Messing and Angelica Huston sing again. And we finally get to hear Jack Davenport sing - not much, and not enough.

Listen to Christian Borle's falsetto!

Jeremy Jordan, that's what I call holding a note.

It's a Rent moment. Too bad Daphne Ruben-Vega and Jessie Martin couldn't join in the number.

Julia and Tom wrote a musical number for the Tony's on the day of Tony's? It's so funny to me that they would wait until the day of the Tony's to finish a number for the award show. The performers still have to learn it and rehearse before the show. Isn't that cutting it a bit close - since those performers probably have to get ready for the Tony's too, and we know how long it takes for women to get ready for a big shindig like that. It's just like Smash to throw realism right out the window.

How would writing letter to your husband (who's divorcing you) with a detailed account of your affair soften his anger toward you?

It's great to see footage of Bernadette Peters' acceptance speech for the Tony she won for Annie Get Your Gun, so Leigh can give pointers to Ivy of how to accept a Tony award.

Jerry really thought that the best number to do for the Tony's was "I'm Not Sorry"? Really? There are much better songs than that. But then, I guess if Jimmy didn't want to perform, there really aren't many other songs that his character doesn't sing.

I can't believe that Daisy thinks that Derek's confession on how she got the part will help her career. It makes her look like a ambitious, do-anything-to-make-it slut. She's really letting all of this publicity go to her head - and she's becoming a real "diva."

I'm surprised that Ivy and Karen are being civil to each other. The last time they spoke, Ivy was angry at Karen for telling Ana that she slept with Derek. I wonder what happened between then and now.

Why is Jerry being such a jerk and siding with Daisy? Is there something between them? Hmm? I guess we'll never know.

It's nice not to see Jimmy the jerk at all this episode. It's about time. And it's too late.

I really hate the way Julia and Frank's story line went through the two season of Smash. It would have been so nice to have an example of a happily married couple in the theater instead of a story of infidelity. It's that whole thing about the writers feeling the need to make the show a soap opera instead of telling honest stories about backstage life in the theater. Yes, there is infidelity and divorce in the lives of some people who are involved in the theater, just like there is everywhere else, but there are also happily married people. That can make good stories too. I also don't like that it diminished Brian D'Arcy James's character, and made the writers feel that they didn't need him in the second season.

It seems to me that most people who are invited to the Tony's (especially the nominees) bring a "plus one." That means they would be given two tickets, wouldn't they? Why wouldn't Karen and Jimmy get two tickets? And would they give a ticket to someone who is nominated but is dead? Why would Kyle get a ticket?

I love that they show Leigh and Ivy as their names are announced as nominees just as they would if they were on the real Tony telecast. Their smiles into the camera are so great. So, actor-like, if you know what I mean. Trying to look humble, but deep down thinking - "I hope I win, I hope I win, I hope I win."

Just rub lemon juice into the wound, why don't ya. Daisy wins? Whaaaaat?

Of course Kyle won for best book. No surprise there at all.

So, Jimmy's acceptance speech on behalf of Kyle turns into a speech about Karen. I guess that that might have been sweet if they hadn't always made everything about Karen. It just made it annoying that it wasn't all about Kyle. Other than that - his speech was really sweet. I wish we would have seen more of that Jimmy throughout the season - I would have liked him better, and sooner.

It's so funny that Julia and Tom were talking when the winner is announced for best score, and they miss hearing their own names. If everyone's speeches at the Tony awards were like Tom and Julia's, the Tony awards would be much shorter. And they could do more musical numbers. *wink*

Derek wins best choreography for... wait for it... Hit List. Well, at least it wasn't tie between Derek Wills and Derek Wills. *wink*

It's sweet that Derek dedicated his Tony to Ivy, "someone [he loves] very much."

Why did Derek ask Ivy where Daisy is? Strange question to ask Ivy.

Derek fires Daisy right before she's ready to do the musical number for Hit List. And he has the rest of the cast of Hit List go on, impromptu on live television. Good for you, Derek, for doing the right thing and firing her. And good thing that the cast just happened to have an acapella version of "Broadway, Here I Come" ready to perform. A version, which, by the way, I absolutely love. Oh, I'm going to miss you Smash! Sorry, I'm still going through my grieving process.

And there was the setup for the third season, if it hadn't been canceled. Tom and Julia would go to Hollywood and write a movie musical. So, here's where I'm not so sad it was canceled. I don't think I would have liked them going to Hollywood. The joy of Smash to me was it was about the theater, a world that I love. I do love movies. And I love a lot of movie musicals. But I'm not sure if I would have liked the show "going Hollywood."

Tom and Julia are back together as I team. Good for them.

I loved Tom's look at Julia after Patrick leaves. It was hilarious. Awkward. Again, if the show had more comedy like that, it would have been so much better. Life in theater isn't all drama. There is comedy - funny moments that would have been so great for Smash to capture.

I loved seeing all of the cameos of Broadway performers.

And the Tony award for best performance by an actress in leading role in a musical goes to...

Commericial. You don't think they wouldn't milk this one for all its worth would you? *wink*

Ivy Lynn! Yes, Ivy won the Tony award. Not Karen. Okay, writers, I forgive you for the all of the praise you heaped upon Karen. I am happy.

I love, love, love Ivy's acceptance speech. She said what so many of us who love the theatre believe.*

And the Tony award for best musical goes to...

Well, you can guess by the above picture. I'm glad it won. This is the show we've come to love since season 1. And it was great to see Jerry's face as Eileen walked down the aisle to the stage to accept her Tony award. I'm glad that Eileen called for Derek to come up. It's just too bad that we didn't get to see any of the other cast members. I wanted to see Bobby and Jessica up there.

And now we have to wrap things up a bit.

We finally find out Jimmy's secret past. I wish that we had known the details or even just some of the details, even if Karen didn't know. I think we would have liked him much more. I think the end would have been more emotional also if we knew that he turned himself in before the Tony's. Then it really would have been a surprise when he turns up at Karen's door to go with her to the Tony's. 

Michael Swift? Whaaat?

It's over. It's really over. And I'm sad.

The big number that Tom and Julia wrote for the Tony's is "Big Finish." Ivy and Karen sing it. It's a great number, and it really is a great way to end the series. 

Quotes:

Leigh (to Ivy): I thanked you in person. That's better.

Karen (to Derek): This will pass. But you have to let it.

Julia (to Jimmy): Stop sabotaging yourself. Whatever makes you do that, it's time to face it, once and for all. It's not too late.

Karen: What's not fair is you're not going too.
Ana: Believe me, I'm gonna cry after you leave.

Leigh: Have you practiced?
Ivy: My speech? No. I'm not winning.
Leigh: No, your losing face when I win. Here, try this one.

Ivy: Good thing you got to practice that face, huh?

Julia: Is it possible that I want Kyle to win instead of me? I mean, could I actually be that selfless?
Tom: Historically, no. But people change.

Tom: You okay?
Julia: Yea. But it turns out that I actually did want to win.

Julia: Jimmy deserves original score, and we deserve cocktails with olives in them. Several.

Jimmy (to Julia): It's okay. I got the one I wanted.

Derek: First of all, I'd like to thank the Tony voters for judging the work, not the man.

Daisy: What are you doing?
Derek: Something I should have done a long time ago. Taking you out.
[Aside: If you were reading this without the context behind it, you'd think he was asking her out on a date. No, he's firing her. Yay! End of aside.]
Daisy: You can't do that.
Derek: Weren't you listening? Everyone out there hates me, so I can do pretty much anything I feel like.

Jimmy: It looks like someone forgot to the tell the announcer.

Julia: After all that, it ends here, huh?

Ivy: I'd like to thank my mother, Leigh Conroy, the magnificent Leigh Conroy for giving me the greatest gift. And that is a life in the theatre.

*Ivy: For me, there is nothing more magical than that moment right as the lights go down and the crowd is waiting in silence with anticipation for the show to begin. It's a moment full of hope and full of possibilities. So, I'd like to thank the audience for coming, and for believing, as I do, that there is nothing more important or special as live theatre.

Eileen (to Derek): Don't worry They'll get over it. All they need is another show.
Derek: I'm game if you are.

Tom (to Derek, re: the Tony award): It spins.

Ivy: Are you ready to give the people what they want?
Karen: Always.

Smash: The Nominations

These last two recaps of Smash are dedicated to my good friend, Megan, whom I first met when we played courtesans in a production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Since then we've done a few more shows together. Thanks for enjoying the recaps!

If you've read any of my previous recaps posts for Smash, you know that I don't think that the show lived up to its potential. I was hoping that it would get renewed for a third season so it would get a second (or, I guess you could say, third) chance to get it right. Oh well, if wishes were fishes, as they say.

Watching this episode reminds me again of how much I'm going to miss this show - the backstage look at theater part. Not so much the soap opera plot lines. Even though there weren't any production numbers, I enjoyed the inside look (albeit quite fictional look) at the nomination season on Broadway. The excitement of getting nominated, of winning and losing.

Observations:

It's interesting that Ivy has a poster of Heaven on Earth, the Broadway musical she was in when she auditioned for the then untitled Marilyn Monroe musical in season 1, on the wall above her bed. Why wouldn't she have a poster for Bombshell? She's starring in that.

Agnes was so excited to tell Eileen that Bombshell got 10 Outer Critics Circle nominations, and Eileen has to burst Agnes's bubble by telling her that Hit List got 11 nominations. Come on, Eileen (ooh, there's a song there), get excited for your 10 nominations instead of boohooing that Hit List got one more than you did. Interesting fact: There are only 11 Outer Critics Circle awards that a musical can win. I wonder which one Bombshell didn't get nominated for. I know, this show is fiction, so it could be anything (except for the ones they specifically say in the show it was nominated for), so let me make my guess: outstanding actor in a musical.

I haven't ever seen the star of a show take their curtain call solo. But Ivy did. Strange.

Is the fictional musical The Gathering Storm really supposed to be three acts? A musical in three acts - I've never heard of that before. I've heard of plenty of plays that have three acts, but not any musicals.

Tom just demonstrated why you never use your cell phone during a show. I think it's funny how the writers thought it would be so "hip" and "modern" to let audience members use their cell phones during Hit List, but then they have this scene with Tom using his cell phone during The Gathering Storm as a commentary of how annoying it is to other audience members.

Come on, Eileen (sorry, I just had to say it again), tell Tom to shut that phone off! However, it is hilarious how he uses the light of the phone to see who it is that's sitting behind him in the theater.

I'm shocked!!! Karen won the Outer Critics Circle award for outstanding actress in a musical. Oh, wait. No, I'm not shocked at all. We're talking about Miss Perfect, Karen Cartwright. Well, after the few short scenes I've seen of her in Hit List, I definitely wouldn't have voted for her.

Why would Ivy think that Karen won the OCC award just because she trash-talked Ivy? I don't think that's how critics decide who to vote for. I think the critics vote by, surprise, who actually had the best performance.

I just love Bobby and Jessica. I'm going to miss them. Hey, I've got a great idea! NBC, why don't you give them their own spin-off series. It could be about two best friends who are gypsies on Broadway. You could call it Gypsies. They could also go on tours of Broadway shows, and do regional theater. It could be great fun. Please, oh, please!

Tom won the Outer Critics Circle award for best director! Good for him. However, he did tie with Derek. Cop out anyone?

Do these writers do their research? The Outer Critics Circle doesn't have a category for best book. You can win outstanding musical or outstanding score - not outstanding book. Didn't any of these Broadway actors in the show tell anyone that that award doesn't exist? I'm so disappointed.

I'm surprised that we don't get to see Karen finding out she won the OCC award. Even though it's annoying to me that she won, it's a big deal for someone in their first Broadway show to win an award like that. When we see Karen again after we find out she won, we don't see any kind of excitement from her. We don't see any excitement from her about anything. For someone who has reached her dream, she doesn't seem happy at all.

And we just got to the opening credits. Boy a lot happened before those credits.

If Daisy is typical of actors trying to make it on Broadway, it's a sad thing to say about actors trying to make it on Broadway.

Were Julia and Kyle "close?" Julia spent a few days helping Kyle with the script, I wouldn't call that being "close."

The scene with Tom trying to take the wine back at the hotel is pretty funny. I really wish that Smash had had more comedy in it, and less angst. I think it would have been a better show.

Yes, Ivy said something she shouldn't have about Hit List and Kyle, but I'm shocked that an audience member would say what she said to Ivy in the first place.

It's nice to see that Tom and Derek are friends again.

It's so hard to see what an unlikable person Jimmy is. There is a way to make a character jerk and still be strangely likable - look at Derek. The writers just never figured out how to do that with Jimmy's character. It's so frustrating.

The episode was going so well, and then they throw in that "circle of Smash." People who were friends, and liked each other, now have a major falling out. Big scene, big blowup. But, we do get Eileen to break up the fight with one of her. The only sane person around.

Okay, I like Karen right now. She tells Jimmy that he needs to take a break from performing, and actually see the show he wrote with Kyle. It's an amazing thing to see a show that you wrote performed on a stage. I can't imagine what it would be like to see it performed on a Broadway stage. I hope someday I do.

Poor Derek. He did something really crummy, but I feel sorry for the way everyone is treating him. I guess it's because he really is a likable character. *wink*

And the Tony Nominees Are (the ones we care about):

Featured Actress in a Musical:

• Leigh Conroy: Bombshell
• Ivy Lynn: Liaisons
• Daisy Parker: Hit List

Choreography:

• Derek Wills: Bombshell
• Derek Wills: Hit List

Best Book of a Musical:

• Kyle Bishop: Hit List
• Julia Houston: Bombshell

Original Score:

• Bombshell
• Hit List

Direction of a Musical:

• Tom Levitt: Bombshell
• Derek Wills: Hit List

Actress in a Musical

• Karen Cartwright: Hit List
• Ivy Lynn: Bombshell

It's Cheyenne Jackson and Christine Ebersole announcing the Tony nominations. So cool.

Psyche! They accidentally skipped Ivy's name, so she didn't think she got the nomination. But, surprise, she did! Whew!

Why do they have to make Frank so horrible. I liked him. They really screwed up with that plot line.

Derek is being a man and owing up to the mistake he made. Good for you, Derek.

Quotes:

Patrick Dillon: Are you kidding me? Haven't you ever been in a theater before?
Tom: Not only have a been there, I just won a major award for it. Best Director.

Sam: But, hey, awards are not important. Right?

Tom: Please tell me those are J. Crew.

Agnes: Ah, if it isn't my two favorite P.R. disasters. What are you going to do for an encore today, burned down Table 46?

Tom: You should know that our encounter with the wine did not go well.

Jerry: Eileen. Thought you'd be wearing black today.
Eileen: No, Jerry. I'm saving it for your funeral.

Derek: Okay, this is awkward. Do you want to go first, kind sir?
Tom: You first. I'll finish. That seems familiar.

Eileen: My life has to be about more than this show.

Julia: Artists shouldn't feel ashamed about helping each other. It shouldn't always be a competition.

Tom: We did everything possible to blow these nominations. I take great solace in that.
Ivy: We didn't go halfway, it's true.

Ivy: Of course that's her. She probably wants me to withdraw.

Ana: Well, I'm gonna go in the other room and... eavesdrop.

Jimmy: Kind of nice knowing that you're leaving something behind no matter what.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: season 3, ep. 13, Quippy Quotes

Poor Xander. He just can't seem to catch a break. He's the only member of the scooby gang who can't do anything to help kill the vampires and demons and monsters (oh, my!). Buffy and Faith have super-human strength. Willow can cast spells. Angel is a vampire. Oz is a werewolf. And Giles... well, he's Giles.

In "The Zeppo," Xander just wants to prove that he's cool, and he gets stuck with a new gang. A, let's say, motley crew. As Buffy, Willow, and Giles try to figure out how to keep some demons from opening the hellmouth and bringing about the end of the world, Xander's stuck with a juvenile delinquent and a bunch of his friends he's raised from the dead.

This episode is a perfect example of how Buffy the Vampire Slayer mixes comedy with action and drama. While the scooby gang is fighting the demon from the hellmouth, that's trying to end the world, Xander is fighting his new dead "friends," and trying to keep the school from being blown up. You guess which part contains the comedy.

Fun Fact: There's a scene in this episode in the lunch room, and at the beginning of the scene there's a shot of what's for lunch: saurkraut, hot dogs, and spaghetti. That shot was originally in season 2, episode 19, "I Only Have Eyes for You." It's the scene where snakes invade the lunch room. In "The Zeppo," at the end of the shot of the food, you can actually see Cordelia paying for her lunch, and Xander, Buffy and Willow sitting at one of the tables. And then the scene continues with Xander at one of the tables talking to Oz. Way to reuse old footage.

Quotes:

Buffy: Willow, you okay?
Willow: Yea, I'm fine. The shaking is a side-effect of the fear.

Xander: I'm good. We're fine. Just a little bit dirty. Good show everyone. Just great. I think we have a hit.

Xander: If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it.

Buffy: Maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be... fray-adjacent.
Xander: Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?
Faith: Yea. That was really manly how you shrieked and all.
Xander: I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.

Buffy: What should we do with the trio here? Burn them?
Willow: I brought marshmallows. [everyone looks at her] Occasionally, I'm callous and strange.

Giles: Xander, I think in the future perhaps it would be best if you hung back to the rear of the battle, for your own sake.
Xander: But, gee, Mr. White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll never be a good reporter.
Giles: Hmm?
Xander: Jimmy Olsen joke, sir. Pretty much gonna be lost on you.
Giles: Sorry.
Xander, Hey, it's okay.

Cordelia (to Xander): Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest.

Xander (to Cordelia): Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?

Cordelia: You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.
Xander: I was just talking to... Hey, mind your own business.

Cordelia: Xander, you're the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo.

Xander: But, it's just that it's bugging me - this "cool" thing." I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it? And who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of cool?
Oz: Not sure.
Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.

Xander: I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.

Buffy: And they're here in Sunnydale for what - Demon Expo?
Giles: Buffy, this is no laughing matter.
Buffy: Hence my no laughing.

Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure and public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me when I was late for a test and naked.

Cordelia: Ooh, is some evil going on? Must be big for them to entrust you with this daredevil mission.
Xander: Cordelia, feel free to drop dead of a wasting disease in the next 20 seconds.
Cordelia: Ooh, again I strike the nerve. I am the surgeon of mean.

Xander: Stay calm. A little fender bender. It's not... the end of the world.

Buffy: "Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors..." Eww. "...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes." They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?

Giles: All we know is the fate of the entire world rests on it -- Did you eat all the jellies?
Buffy: Did you want a jelly?
Giles: I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says, "Let's have a jelly in the mix."
Willow: We're sorry. Buffy had three.

Xander: I am really sorry about that, but your car came out of nowhere.
Jack: I was parked.
Xander: Exactly. Look, I can cover the damages. I don't have insurance in the strictest sense of the word.

Xander: Great knife. Although, I think it may technically be a sword.
Jack: She's called "Katie."
Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you.

Jack: Don't you feel pathetic?
Xander: Mostly I feel Katie.

Jack: You know what the difference between you and me is?
Xander: Again, Katie's springing to mind.

Bob: How long have I been down?
Jack: Eight months. I had to wait till the stars aligned.
Bob: Oh, eight months. I got some catching up to do. Walker, Texas Ranger -- you been taping them?

Bob: It's gonna be a night to remember. Yeah!
Xander: I'm sensing that.

Xander: Listen, do you guys need any help?
Giles: Hmm? Oh, no. Thank you. Probably best if you stay out of trouble.
Xander: No chance of that.

Giles: There's something different about this. Something in the air - the stench of death.
Xander: Yea, I think it's Bob.

Xander (to himself): Okay, now I'm involved in crime. I'm the criminal element. Having a car sure is cool.

Bob: You got a problem with dead people?

Xander: Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and you better pray you get the answer right. How do I difuse -- [corpse loses his head] I probably should've left out that whole middle part.

Xander: Where's a slayer when you need one?

Xander: Should've learned by now. If you're gonna play with fire, you gotta expect, sooner or later... [corpse runs away] I wasn't finished yet! Note to self: less talk.

Xander: I'm not leaving till that thing's disarmed.
Jack: I guess you're not leaving.

Xander: I don't think I wanna be seeing you on campus anymore, Jack.
[Xander leaves]
Jack: I'm not going anywhere, Harris. The first time you turn your back ---

Willow: Xander. Boy, you're lucky you weren't at school last night. It was crazed.
Xander: Well, uh, give me the quiet life.

Xander: I'm gonna grab a snack. Anyone want? Oz?
Oz: No. Oddly full today.