My Favorite Movies: The Rage of Paris

A while ago, a coworker asked me what my favorite movie was. I'm sure he was thinking I would respond with a title he had heard before, such as Casablanca, Star Wars or The Princess Bride. He seemed surprised when I named a little-known black and white film from 1938, The Rage of Paris.
It stars Danielle Darrieux, a popular French actress at the time, who made only a few films in the United States, and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. It's not a masterpiece, or even what you would call a "great" movie, but I like everything about it: the script, the characters, the acting, the perfect comic timing, the witty word-play, the chemistry between the two leads, and the 1930's fashion. With this movie, it's all about the journey - and what an enjoyable romp of a journey it is. 

Synopsis:

Nicole (Danielle Darrieux) has no job and is several weeks behind with her rent at the boarding house where she's been living. Her solution is to try and snare a rich husband. Enlisting the help of her friend Gloria (Helen Broderick) and Mike, the head waiter at a ritzy New York City hotel (Mischa Auer), the trio devise a plot for Nicole to catch the eye of Bill Duncan (Louis Hayward), a handsome millionaire staying at the hotel. Nicole's plan may be thwarted by Bill's friend, Jim Trevor (Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.), who met Nicole when she was still down on her luck, and sees through her plot.

Quotes:

Nicole: Good afternoon.
Receptionist: What do you want please?
Nicole: I'd like to have a job.
Receptionist: Are you registered here?
Nicole: Well, no I'm not. I've never been --
Receptionist: We're not registering any new girls. (answers the phone) Towers Model Agency. Good afternoon. (pause) You have the wrong number. I'm sorry.
Nicole: I'm sorry too.

Mr. Wright: You're French, eh?
Nicole: Yes, I'm French. But it would show on the pictures.

Mr. Wright: I have a job for you to pose with drapes.
Model: For how much?
Mr. Wright: Two seventy-five an hour. He wants you three hours a day for about ten weeks.
Model: That's no job. That's a career.

Nicole: You are Mr. James Trevor, no?
Jim: I am Mr. James Trevor, yes.

Nicole: I'm sorry I'm not ready. I know you are very impatient.
Jim: No, I'm just curious. Would you mind telling me what this is all about, or is that asking too much?
Nicole: Pardon?
Jim: What is this all for?
Nicole: Two dollars and seventy-five cents an hour.
Jim: Oh, for two seventy-five an hour.
Nicole: Is it too much?
Jim: Oh no, no, no. As a matter of fact it's quite reasonable. I was just thinking that it's worth that to find out what happens next.

Nicole: You are the certain Mr. Trevor, no?
Jim: I am Mr. James Trevor, but not very certain.

Nicole: Where are the draps [drapes]?
Jim: What?
Nicole: You have the draps?
Jim: I don't know. I had the measles. What are the draps like?

Nicole: You're a photographer, no?
Jim: That's where you've got me. I'm a photographer. No.

Jim: Well, gentlemen. There must be a moral in there somewhere. So will you all go back to your offices and try to find out what that is?

Landlady: On your way!
Nicole: But you can't do this. You must help me.
Landlady: If you want help, get it from Washington.
Gloria: Washington's dead, haven't you heard?

Landlady: You keep out of this, Miss Patterson.
Gloria: I pay seven dollars a week in this fire trap, and if there's any fun going on, I want to be in on it.

Old male boarder: Stop this clacker. I'm trying to think!
Gloria: It's all right, the evil queen is trying slip Snow White the apple again.

Landlady: She's four days behind in her rent.
Gloria: And you're two weeks behind with your hot water.
Landlady: I have to live too, you know.
Gloria: Why?
Landlady: Don't you talk to me like that!
Gloria: I'll do better than that. I won't even talk to you at all. And I'll pay her rent!

Nicole: Why are you always so good me?
Gloria: Oh, I suppose you have to be good to something, and my dog died a week before you moved in here.

Nicole: Did you marry a rich husband?
Gloria: I married a hoofer. All he had was a time step and a shuffle off to buffalo. Late in life in got ambitious.
Nicole: And got rich?
Gloria: And got 20 years.

Gloria: This kid wants a job.
Mike: Job?
Gloria: Yes, she's one of those rare people who really want to work for a living.

Gloria: Look at those girls in there. That's where you belong. Not in a kitchen. The way to a man's heart is through his eyes, baby. That's the modern version. He believes what he sees and takes bicarbonate of soda for his indigestion instead of a wife that can cook. Those women spend three billion dollars a year in beauty parlors and not for cook books.
Nicole: You're very hard to understand sometimes.
Gloria: Seventy percent of all the money in America is in the hands of women. You understand that, don't you?
Nicole: Yes, but --
Gloria: And if the boys don't look out, the girls will be the other thirty percent.

Hotel Manager: We want your stay with us to be a memorable and enjoyable one. Because we feel that there isn't a hotel in America that is so well equipped as ours to make you as comfortable as you were in the home you just left.
Gloria: What a sweet thought.

Nicole (regarding fur coat): Oh, oh, it's a dream.
Mike: It costs 30.00 a day to rent the coat. It's no dream, it's a nightmare.

Gloria: She's such a child.
Mike: And while she's growing up it's costing me 60.00 a day for this suite. And that's a little over four cents a minute.
Gloria: If you lose one penny on this deal I'll give you my right eye.
Mike: And I'll take it.

Gloria: If I just had my boots and saddle.

Bill: When did you get the mustache?
Jim: That's something I picked up when I had the flu.

Jim: Who are you with?
Bill: A girl.
Jim: A local one?
Bill: No, she's from Paris.
Jim: Kentucky?
Bill: France.

Bill: Do you still like brunettes?
Jim: Sure, you know me.
Bill: Well fine, she's a blonde.

Girl in restaurant: I want ham and eggs.

Mike: I have a beautiful table for three.
Gloria (whispers to Mike): I wish you were right.
Bill: Make it for four, Mike.
Mike: Right this way, please. (to Gloria) Why four?
Gloria: We're having company for supper.
Mike: Who?
Gloria: Trouble.
Mike: On my money, having trouble for supper.

Jim: How long have you been in New York, mademoiselle?
Nicole: Oh, well I...
Bill: Just a week. She arrived the same day I did.
Jim: A week? I would have said you'd been here much longer.
Gloria: Oh, uh, she fools everyone.
Jim: I'm sure she does.

Nicole: Go ahead, I can took it.

Jim: Sorry I've been rough on you, but war is war.
Nicole: You said it, Mr. Trevor.

Bill: Nice friend I have.
Gloria: I've heard that man's best friend is always the dog.

Bill: I can't understand it. He's changed so completely, inside a year too.
Gloria: I knew a man once whose hair turned white overnight.
Bill: Well, I wouldn't believe it about Jim, unless I'd seen it.
Gloria: You know, this man wouldn't believe it about his hair until he became bald the following night. But that convinced him.

Mike: The young lady in your party forgot her wrap.
Jim: It wasn't my party, and she's not a lady.
Mike: Oh, I'm sorry sir, but I'm sure you know your friends better than I do.

Nicole: That's the first time anyone has ever said anything like that to me before.
Gloria: Said what?
Nicole: He said I'm cheap.
Gloria: Well, you certainly paid him back for that.
Mike: In spades! He's got some nerve! Cheap. I've figured out just now how much it costs. Eighty seven dollars and fifty cents in rental. Cheap. What does he want you to wear, radium?
Nicole: He meant I was dishonest.
Gloria: Darling, all women are dishonest. If they weren't, the world would be divided into two classes of people: old maids and bachelors. Look (rubs off Nicole's lipstick), that's dishonest. Plucking your eyebrows is dishonest. The rouge on your cheeks is dishonest. And a fat women in a girdle... ha! that's highway robbery.

Mike: I started out to get a restaurant, and now I'll be lucky if I end up with a ham sandwich.

Rigley (Jim's valet): It's a dangerous business interfering between a man and a maid.
Jim: Yes, Rigley. I know when I'm in trouble without you telling me.
Rigley: There was a similar situation in my own family, sir. As a matter of fact, that's the way my second cousin lost his right eye.
Jim: Mr. Duncan's my best friend. That's the only reason I'm doing this.
Rigley: It was my second cousin's brother, sir, that knocked out my second cousin's eye.

Jim (on the phone with Nicole): Hello. Is the the rage of Paris, or the pride of Hoboken, or whatever you're calling yourself today?

Jim: You're going to have dinner with me tonight.
Nicole: What! Oh, oh no, I don't like you. I'm sorry.
Jim: Well, I'm not sorry at all, but you're still going to have dinner with me at 7:30 sharp.

Jim: Did you hear that, Rigley?
Rigley: Do you want me to, sir?
Jim: I do.
Rigley: I did.

Jim: I'm sorry, my dear, but the age of chivalry is dead. And when I come back I'll take you to the funeral.

Uncle Eric: I think your niece resembles you quite a lot. Or should I say you resemble your niece.
Gloria: Oh, it doesn't matter. We all look alike in our family.
Uncle Eric: Haha! I'm glad we don't in ours.

Jim: You're working on borrowed time anyway. I should have fired you last Tuesday.
Rigley: Why don't you fire me now, sir.
Jim: Well, if you do a good job tonight, perhaps I will.
Rigley: Thank you very much, sir.

Nicole: Just wait, I make a lot of trouble for you.
Jim: Go ahead, I can took it.

Jim: Watch you step. It's rough here. I don't want you to break your neck.
Nicole: I'm sorry I can't wish you the same.

Nicole: What's a hog.
Jim: A hog is a very big pig.
Nicole: Now I could say something. (pause) But I don't.

Pops: It's been so long since you've been up here that I was beginning to commence to forget what you look like.

Nicole: Now I go on a sit-down strike.
Jim: Then I'd better get you a coat.
Nicole: No. I don't want any coat. I'm going to get pneumonia and die. Then what will you do with the body?

Nicole: Don't be mad, Jimmy.

Nicole: Mr. Pops, where is the telephone?
Pops: Right over there. But it ain't connected.
Nicole: Not connected? But can't you make it connected?
Pops: Oh sure. I'll notify the company first thing tomorrow. They'll send a man out to fix it... in about a week or 10 days. That's what they call service or something. But I've got another name for it.

Jim: I always thought the French like to eat.
Nicole: Yes, but they're very particular.
Jim: About their food?
Nicole: About who they eat with.

Jim: I come from a long line of hunters.
Nicole: No, I think you come from a long line of sour pusses.

Nicole: All the fresh air is outside, and inside, there's nothing.

Nicole: I think I'm going to look out of the window, if you don't mind.
Jim: No, no, it all comes with the dinner.

Nicole: Can't you go any faster?
Truck driver: Sure. But I ain't allowed to leave the truck.

Mike: So, it's all over but the shouting. Well, that's life. You take a chance, and draw a blank.
Gloria: It's finally got him.

Gloria: You know, something tells me I'm going in the restaurant business myself.

Rigley: Before you do this, sir. Let me tell you about an incident in which my second cousin, One Eye Rigley, was involved.

Mike: I'm gonna name a dish after her.
Gloria: Yeah, what?
Mike: On the regular dollar dinner in our new restaurant the frogs legs will always be called "a la Cortillion."
Gloria. Don't forget to name the mashed potatoes after me.

Jim: You have the draps, no? You are the certain mademoiselle de Cortillion, no?


Watch it on Youtube.

My Favorite Movies: What's Up Doc

In the 1930s and 1940s, there were wonderful films called "screwball comedies." These films starred great comedic actresses such as Carole Lombard, Katherine Hepburn, Jean Arthur, Barbara Stanwyck, and Irene Dunne, and great leading men such as Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Gary Cooper, and Jimmy Stewart. The film most often called the first screwball comedy is It Happened One Night with Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable. It is one of the great film comedies, and one of the very few comedies to win the Academy Award for best picture.

Screwball comedies pretty much went out the Hays Code. However, there have been a few films since then that could be called a screwball comedy. My favorite of these is Peter Bogdanovich's, What's Up Doc from 1972. The film stars Barbra Streisand, Ryan O'Neal, and introduced the great comedienne, Madeline Kahn. It is one of the best comedies ever written, in my opinion. It has similarities to another great screwball comedy, Bringing Up Baby, with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant, and if you're going to borrow from another movie, then Bringing Up Baby is one of the best. It's just too bad that What's Up Doc doesn't have a leopard.

The film centers around four plaid overnight cases. One contains top secret documents, another contains igneous rocks, another expensive jewels, and the last - what is most commonly found in an overnight case: clothes and toiletries, and a very large text book. When the four cases are hidden, stolen, and mistaken for another in a San Francisco hotel, hilarity ensues in a heightened farcical manner.

If I were to include all of the great lines in the movie, I would pretty much be quoting the entire script, so I've decided to just post my favorites. (There are still a lot.) Some of the quotes may not seem very funny, but I've included them because either the situation in which they were said, or the delivery were hilarious. So, I would suggest you watch the movie to appreciate them, and to simply enjoy a classic screwball comedy.

Quotes:

Eunice: Howard! Howard Bannister! Howard, when I ask you to wait for me somewhere, I expect you to stay there until I come back.
Howard: Yes, Eunice.
Eunice: Now, it is difficult enough for me to have to see to all these arrangements myself.
Howard: Yes, Eunice.
Eunice: It is exactly six fifteen. If we reach the hotel in half an hour, we'll have just enough time for the banquet.
Howard: Yes, Eunice.
Eunice (to the porter): Put these things in a taxi.
Porter: Yes, Eunice.

Judy: They told me they'd be in room 1717 at the Hotel Crystal.
Fritz (the hotel concierge): This is the Bristol, madam, not the Crystal.
Judy: Then one of us must be in the wrong hotel.

Howard: Your bell is flat, half a tone off.

Judy: What's up, Doc?
Howard: I beg your pardon?
Judy: We've gotta stop meeting like this.
Howard: I think you're making a mistake. You see, I just came in here for something for a headache.
Judy: You're gonna need an awfully big glass of water to get that down.

Howard: I guess you're not really interested in igneous rock formations.
Judy: Not as much as I am in the metamorphic or sedimentary rock categories. I mean, I can take your igneous rocks or leave them. I relate primarily to micas, quartz, feldspar. You can keep your pyroxenes, magnetites, and coarse-grained plutonics as far as I'm concerned.
Howard: I forgot why I came in here.
Judy: Headache.
Howard: Oh, yes. Thank you and goodbye.

Judy: So, that's all I am to you? A mistake, a clerical error? Erase me, forget you even know my name.
Howard: I don't know your name.
Judy: Judy Maxwell.
Howard: How do you do?
Judy: How do you do?

Judy: Did you know that three percent of all fatal accidents happen in corner drugstores?

Judy: Eunice? That's a person named Eunice?

Judy: Steve, you didn't tell me you were married.
Howard: We're not married.
Judy: Congratulations!
Eunice: But we will be soon.
Judy: Condolences.

Eunice: Who is this person?
Howard: I haven't the vaguest idea. She was behind a rock in the drugstore.

Eunice: Don't you know the meaning of propriety?
Judy: Propriety. Noun. Conformity to established standards of behavior or manners; suitability, rightness or justness. See "etiquette."

Howard (knocks on door): Eunice. Eunice.
Eunice: Who's there?
Howard: It's me, Howard Bannister. Your fiance.

Judy: I don't know who he is, but I hate him.

Howard: I don't think of you as a woman, Eunice. I think of you as... as Eunice.

Eunice: As the years go by, romance fades and something else takes its place. Do you know what that is?
Howard: Senility.
Eunice: Trust.
Howard: That's what I meant.

Eunice: Tell me exactly what you're going to say to him.
Howard: What? Well, I'll probably say something like, "Hello there, Mr. Larrabee, I'm Howard."
Eunice: You are not.
Howard: I'm not Howard?
Eunice: You are not going to say, "Hi, my name is Howard." Anyone can say that. Anyone.
Howard: Anyone named Howard.

Eunice: Well, do your best. Be dignified.
Howard: I'll be dignified.
Eunice: Be solemn, but not stuffy.
Howard: I'll be solemn.
Eunice: Act friendly, but impersonal.
Howard: I'll be friendly.
Eunice: Pull the door open.
Howard: I'll pull the door open.

Waiter: You're upside down, sir.
Howard: I'm upside down.

Hugh: You're upside down.
Howard: I know.

Howard: You!
Judy? Eunice, Howard. Eunice. (to Mr. Larrabee) We've almost got that stammer cured.

Larrabee: You like Emerson?
Judy: I adore Emerson.
Larrabee: I adore anyone who adores Emerson.
Judy: And I adore anyone who adores anyone who adores Emerson. Your turn.

Howard: Help!

Judy: It so happens, Mr. Simon, that Howard had discussions with Leonard Bernstein about the possibility of conducting an avalanche in E flat.

Fritz: Get out of there, but don't let anyone see you.
Harry (the house detective): Roger.
Fritz: Fritz.

Howard: You have got to get out of here.
Judy: And miss all the good stuff that's coming?
Howard: She will be here any minute.
Judy: That's the good stuff that's coming.

Howard: I'm having a nightmare.

Hugh: I find that story as difficult to swallow as I do this potage au gelee.
Judy: How would you like to swallow one sandwich d'knuckles?

Howard: Don't you understand anything?
Judy: Like what?
Howard: Like Eunice.
Judy: Nope. I don't understand Eunice.

Judy: Steve, you don't want to marry Eunice.
Howard: I'm not Steve. I'm Howard.
Judy: Neither of you wants to marry Eunice.
Howard: Why do you say that?
Judy: You don't want to marry someone who's gonna get wrinkled and lined and flabby.
Howard: Everyone gets wrinkled, lined and flabby.
Judy: By next week?

Waiter: Charles, what kind of wine are you serving at table 1?

Fritz: What kind of house detective are you? You can't commit a simple burglary?
Harry: I'm ashamed.

Fritz: Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear of... uh... tile.

Howard: You are not Burnsy. Burnsy is Burnsy. I mean, Eunice is Burnsy. I mean, she isn't Burnsy. Nobody is Burnsy.

Howard: You're just different.
Judy: Thank you. I know I'm different, but from now on I'm gonna try to be the same.
Howard: The same as what?
Judy: The same as people who aren't different.

Judy: I think you dropped something.

Howard: What do you think you're doing?
Judy: I think I'm taking a bath. Aren't I?

Howard: You are the last straw that breaks my camel's back. You are the plague. You bring havoc and chaos to everyone. But why to me? Why? Why? Why?
Judy: Because you look cute in your pajamas, Steve.

Howard: I can't seem to breath. Is it possible to break a lung?

Judy: No, no, no. I can't. I'm terrified of heights. I have acrophobia.
Howard: There's a ledge.
Judy: I have ledgeaphobia.

Howard: She has a violent temper.
Judy: I can't!
Howard: She studies karate.
Judy: Maybe I can.

Eunice: Howard, I'm going to count to five.
Howard: Don't count, Eunice. I hate it when you count.

Eunice: Since when have you taken bubble baths?
Howard: It came out of the faucet that way.

Eunice: Why are your rocks in the bathroom?
Howard: I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't.

Eunice: Howard, you are not being open with me.
Howard: I am being open with you, Eunice. I'm always open. [knock on the door] It's open.

Judy: Why, Miss Burns, what are you doing in Mr. Bannister's bedroom? Don't you know the meaning of propriety?

Howard: Come in, it's broken. I mean, it's open.

Hotel Manager: Mr. Bannister, I have a message from the staff of the hotel.
Howard: Really? What is it?
Hotel Manager: Goodbye.
Howard: That's the entire message?
Hotel Manager: We'd appreciate it if you would check out.
Howard: When?
Hotel Manager: Yesterday.
Howard: That soon?

Howard: My fiancee, Miss Sleep is still burning, and... Miss Burns is still sleeping.

Howard: What were you trying to become?
Judy: A graduate.

Judy: Something always seemed to go wrong.
Howard: Yes, I can believe that.
Judy: Well, this last time was not my fault.
Howard: What happened?
Judy: Nothing. Nothing really. It was just a little classroom. It sort of burned down.
Howard: Burned down?
Judy: Well, blew up, actually.
Howard: Political activism?
Judy: Chemistry major.

Howard (re: a letter): Did you open this?
Judy: How else could I read it?

Howard: Let me read you this letter. "Dear Howard," do you hear that? "Howard."
Eunice: That is your name.

Judy: Sure, what could go wrong?
Howard: Please, don't you say that.

Eunice (on the phone): Thank you, Miss...
Judy: Louise.
Eunice: I thought you said your name was Sylvia.
Judy: Yes, Sylvia-Louise. You know, with a hyphen.

Judy: Did anyone ever tell you that you were very sexy?
Hugh: Well, actually no.
Judy: They never will.

Hugh: I don't know who he is, but she is definitely not herself.

Hugh: Don't shoot me. I'm part Italian.

Larrabee: Don't you dare strike that brave, unbalanced woman.

Howard: What are you doing? This is a one-way street.
Judy: We're only going one way.

Judge: A foul and depraved-looking lot, Bailiff.
Bailiff: Those are just the spectators, Your Honor.

Bailiff: Is Your Honor feeling all right?
Judge: No, My Honor is not feeling all right.

Judge: You made me smash my lifesavers.

Judge: Order in the court!
Bailiff: Order in the court!
Judge: Everyone be quiet!
Bailiff: Everyone be quiet!
Judge: Silence!
Bailiff: Silence!
Judge: You too.
Bailiff: Me too.

Howard: The one who isn't my fiancee doesn't call me Howard, and the one who isn't my wife doesn't call me Howard. Because the one who isn't my fiancee also isn't my wife. The other one who isn't my wife, who is my fiancee, she doesn't call me Steve. She calls me Howard. Do you see?

Howard: Is that clear?
Judge: No, but it is consistent.

Howard: First, there was this trouble between me and Hugh.
Judge: You and me?
Howard: No, not you. Hugh.
Hugh: I am Hugh.
Judge: You are me?
Hugh: No, I am Hugh.
Judge: Stop saying that. Make him stop saying that.
[Policeman puts his hand on Hugh's shoulder]
Hugh: Don't touch me, I'm a doctor.
Judge: Of what?
Hugh: Music.
Judge: Can you fix a hi-fi?
Hugh: No, sir.
Judge: Then shut up!

Judy: I guess I owe you $20,000.
Howard: Don't be silly.
Judy: Listen, if I paid you off at $10 a week we'd be even in... um... 38 years and five and a half months.
Howard: You did that fast.
Judy: New math. Mount Holyoke.

Larrabee: C'est la vie.
Hugh: C'est la guerre.
Judy: C'est la dreck.

Larrabee: Simon, you're a plagiarist. And what's worse, you're a bad loser, and you're nasty. I don't like you, and I want you to go away.

Judy: There's a professor there whom I hope to study with. A brilliant man, Dr. Howard Bannister. No, Bannister, as in "sliding down the."

Howard: I'm sorry.
Judy: Let me tell you something. Love means never having to say you're sorry. [bats her eyelashes]
Howard: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
(Side note: If you know why this is so funny, post a comment.)