This is a great Willow-centric episode, and one of my all time favorites. Willow feels like everyone thinks she's boring and predictable, and people treat her like a doormat. When she has to pretend to be vampy Willow to save everyone in the Bronze from vampires, she takes on the role with a little trepidation, but then she puts all she has into the role. My favorite moment in the entire episode is when our Willow, pretending to be vampy Willow, gives a little smile and wave to Oz in the Bronze to let him know it's her.
Anya is also back, we can never get enough of Anya, and her wonderful "humanness."
Quotes:
Anya: For a 1,000 years I wielded the powers of the wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasures of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math.
Anya: Do you know how boring 12th graders are?
Buffy: The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.s, Rorschach, associative logic. He even has that test to see if you're crazy, that asks if you've ever heard voices, or if you ever wanted to be a florist.
Willow: Ooh, I used to want... Wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.
Willow: How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? (laughs) Buff, Buff.
Buffy: I know that Faith's not going to be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she's had it rough.
Buffy: Emotional control?
Willow: I'm working on it.
Principal Snyder (to Willow): I want you to tutor him. Percy is flunking history. Nothing seems to be able to motivate him.
Percy: Hey, I'm challenged.
Snyder: You are lazy, self-involved and spoiled. That's quite a challenge.
Buffy: So, he threatened you? With what?
Willow: Well, it wasn't exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes.
Faith: You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring.
Faith: Thanks, sugar daddy.
Mayor: Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend.
Oz (to Willow): There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own.
Willow: Where were you yesterday?
Oz: We got back late. Sort of very.
Willow: Maybe I would have liked to go.
Oz: Didn't figure you for missing school.
Willow: You think I'm boring.
Oz: I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text.
Willow (taking out a banana): I'm eating this now. It's not lunchtime. I don't even care.
Buffy (to Xander, re: Willow): See, I told you, Old Reliable.
Willow: Oh, thanks.
Buffy: What?
Willow: Old Reliable? Yea, great. There's a sexy nickname.
Buffy: Well, I didn't mean it as --
Willow: No. It's fine. I'm Old Reliable.
Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot --
Willow: That's Old Yeller.
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.
Willow: Maybe I'm just some doormat person. Homework gal.
Xander: I'm thinking nerve strike.
Buffy: Willow, wait. I'm really sorry.
Willow: Buffy, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.
Anya: I'm kind of new here. I know Cordelia.
Willow: Oh, fun.
Anya: Listen, I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if --
Willow: Yea, that's me. Reliable dog geyser person.
Willow: Okay, that was a little blacker than I like my arts.
Anya: Look, we'll just try it again. And --
Willow: No. I think emphatically not.
Willow: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have someone else's homework to do.
Vamp Willow: This is weird.
Song sung as the Bronze: There's a chair in my head/In which I used to sit/Took a pencil and I wrote/The following on it/Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be/Dig it up and throw it at me/Dig it up and throw it at me
Vamp Willow: Xander.
Xander: Will, changing the look, not an idle threat with you.
Vamp Willow: I don't like you.
Buffy: Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth.
Giles (re: Willow): She was truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me.
Giles: Much, much better.
Buffy: Willow, you're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?
Willow (after Buffy and Xander start hugging her): Okay, oxygen becoming an issue.
Willow: It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?
Buffy: Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation anytime soon?
Giles: Well, uh, something... something very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?
Anya: Give me a beer.
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: I'm 1,120 years old! Just give my a friggin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya (sighs): Give me a coke.
Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies..
Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords.
Devon: That's just like fruity jazz bands.
Vampire: All right. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave, and nobody gets hurt.
Angel: Why don't I believe him?
Oz: Well, he lacks credibility.
Vamp Willow: Questions? Comments?
Angel: Buffy, I... Something's happened that... Willow's dead. (sees "our" Willow) Hi, Willow. Wait a second.
Xander: We're right there with you, Buddy.
Vamp Willow (re: our Willow): Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy.
Willow: This just can't get more disturbing.
Vamp Willow: You don't want to play? I guess I can't force you. Oh, wait. I can.
Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.
Angel: Well, actually -- That's a good point.
Xander: So, we charge in, much in the style of John Wayne?
Angel (re: the vampires): They must really be afraid of you.
Willow: Who wouldn't be.
Buffy: Are you okay in that?
Willow: It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe.
Buffy: First sign of trouble you give us the signal. We come in hard and fast.
Xander: What's the signal?
Willow: Me screaming.
Buffy: Are you sure you're up to this?
Willow: Don't worry. I won't do anything that can be interpreted as brave.
Anya: Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.
Willow (as vampy Willow, talking about herself): She bothered me. She's so weak and accommodating. She's always letting people walk all over her, and then she gets all cranky with her friends for no reason. I just couldn't let her live.
Vamp Willow (waking up in Willow's clothes): Oh, this is a nightmare.
Cordelia: What? Do I have something on my neck?
Vamp Willow: Not yet.
Cordelia: I should just leave you in there, but I am a great humanitarian, and you will just have to think of a way to pay me back sometime.
Vamp Willow: Okay. How about dinner?
Wesley: Was that...?
Cordelia: Willow. They got Willow. So, are you doing anything tonight?
Anya: I think he should eat you.
Willow: This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. I'm a blood-sucking fiend. Look at my outfit.
Vampire: A human. I should have smelled it right away.
Willow: A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? (screams)
Anya: Sure.
Vampire: Yea. I think, yea.
Anya: Human do that.
Willow (punches Anya): Ow, ow, ow! Happy, but ow.
Willow: Nice reflexes.
Buffy: Well, I work out.
Vamp Willow: This world's no fun.
Willow: You noticed that too?
Buffy: There but for the grace of getting bit.
Vamp Willow: Oh, f ---
Willow: Between me and my evil self, I've double guilt coupons.
Buffy: You wanna go out tonight?
Willow: Nine sound good?
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