Xander has such bad luck with girls, and he's unfortunate to fall for an Inca mummy. At least this time the feeling was mutual, and it wasn't her intention to kill him.
This episode introduced two characters that we will see much more of in coming episodes and seasons: Oz and Jonathan.
Quotes:
Buffy: Have you ever done an exchange program?
Xander: My dad tried to sell me to some Armenians once. Does that count?
Xander: That's Rodney Munson. He's God's gift to the bell curve. What he lacks in smarts he makes up for in lack of smarts.
Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years.
Xander: Yea, I'm irrational that way.
Buffy: I don't always use violence, do I?
Xander: The important thing is... you believe that.
Xander: Typical museum trick. Promise human sacrifice, deliver old pots and pans.
Tour Guide: Five hundred years ago, the Incan people chose a beautiful teenage girl to become their princess.
Willow: I hope this story ends with "happily ever after."
Xander: No, I think it end with "and she became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy."
Buffy (re: going to a dance): So, can I go?
Giles: I think not.
Buffy: How come?
Giles: Because you are the Chosen One.
Buffy: Just this one I'd like to be the Overlooked One.
Giles: You have responsibilities.
Buffy: Oh, I know this one. "Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bitty blah. I'm so stuffy, give me a scone."
Giles: It's as if you know me.
Buffy: One day, I'm going to live in a town where evil curses are just ruled out without even saying.
Willow: Giles, were the Incas very advanced?
Giles: Yes. Yes, very.
Willow: Did they have orthodontists?
Xander: Buffy, where are your priorities? Tracking down a mummy killer or making time with some Latin lover whose stock and trade is the breakage of hearts?
Buffy: Maybe he could translate the seal?
Xander: Oh yea. Fall for the old "let me translate that ancient seal for ya" come-on. Do you know how many times I've used that?
Xander: So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? 'Cause I don't know anything much besides "doritos" and "chihuahua."
Ampata: I am Ampata.
Xander: Ay caramba! I can also say that.
Willow: So, Ampata. You're a girl!
Ampata: Yes, for many years now.
Buffy: So, have you ever been to American before?
Ampata: Uh, I have toured.
Xander: Your English is very bueno.
Ampata: I listen much.
Xander: That works out well because I talk much.
Buffy: So, what's it like back home?
Ampata: Cramped and very dead.
Buffy: Well, you'll feel right at home in Sunnydale.
Cordelia: This whole student exchange thing has been a horrible nightmare. They don't even speak American.
Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any girl that can walk and talk.
Devon: She doesn't have to talk.
Willow: It's a celebration of cultures. There are lots of dress-up alternatives.
Xander: And a corresponding equal number of mocking alternatives, all aimed at me.
Willow: Bavarians are cool.
Xander: Okay, no shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers, and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat.
Xander: And this (takes out a twinkie) is called a snack food.
Ampata: Snack food?
Xander: Yea, it's a delicious spongy, golden cake, stuffy with a delightful, creamy white substance of goodness. And here's how you eat it.
[Xander stuffs the whole twinkie in his mouth]
Ampata: Oh, but now I cannot try it.
Xander: That's why you bring two.
Ampata: Here goes.
[She takes a huge bite]
Xander: Good, huh? And the exciting part is they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce, so it doesn't leave you with a heavy "food feeling" in your stomach.
Ampata: You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that... before they run away.
Ampata: I like it.
Xander: I like that you like it. Do not learn from my English.
Willow: Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.
Ampata: You are not telling me everything.
Xander: You're right, Ampata. And it's time we do. We're not an archaeology club. We're in... (Giles coughs) we're in the crime club, which is like the chess club, only with crime and um... no chess.
Buffy: Hey! Look at us! We came up with a plan.
Giles: We'll meet there tonight after it closes.
Buffy: No! Bad plan. I have other plans. Dance plans. [pause] Cancel plans.
Ampata: Can I tell you a secret? I like you too.
Xander: Really?
Ampata: Really.
Xander: That's great. Really?
Ampata: Really.
Xander: That's great! You're not a preying mantis, are you? Sorry, someone else.
Xander: I have come for the dance.
Buffy: And what culture are you?
Xander: I am from the country of Leone. It's in Italy, pretending to be Montana. Where are you from, the country of white trash?
Buffy: Mm, new lineup.
Ampata: Hello, Xander.
Xander: (babbles)
Buffy: I can translate American salivating boy-talk. He says you're beautiful.
Xander: (babbles)
Buffy: You're welcome.
Cordelia (to Willow, who is dressed like an Eskimo): Ooh! Near faux pas. I almost wore the same thing.
Ampata: I love your costume. It's very authentic.
Willow: Thanks.
Xander: Yea, you look, um... snug.
Willow: That's what I was going for.
Buffy: What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse, and doesn't even pack lipstick?
Buffy (in the car with Giles): Come on! Can't you put your foot down?
Giles: It is down.
Buffy: One of these days you're gonna have to get a grownup car.
Buffy: I'll get Xander before he gets smoochy with mummy dearest.
Xander: Have you seen Ampata?
[Willow shrugs]
Xander: What was that?
Willow: I shrugged.
Xander: Next time you should probably say, "shrug."
[Xander leaves]
Willow: Sigh.
Sven (to Cordelia's friend): I thought this exchange would be a great deal. But look what I got stuck with! "Momento." "Punchy fruity drink." Is Cordelia even from this country?"
Xander: Why did you leave?
Ampata: I do not deserve you.
Xander: What? You think you don't deserve me? (laughs) Man, I love you!
Xander: Hey, I know why you can't tell me. It's a secret, right? And if you told me, you'd have to kill me. (Ampata cries) Oh, that was a bad joke. And the delivery was off too. I'm sorry.
Buffy: I'll say one thing for you Incan mummies - you don't kiss and tell.
Ampata: You're not a normal girl.
Buffy: And you are?
Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world. Ever.
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