Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2, ep. 6 Quippy Quotes

"Halloween" is one of my favorite Buffy episodes. It's probably in my top 15, maybe top 10 (if I actually made a top 10 list. Ooo, maybe I should. *wink*). In this episode, the Scooby Gang buy Halloween costumes from a new costume shop in Sunnydale, and on the night of trick-or-treating, everyone who bought their outfit from that new shop turns into the costume they're wearing, forgetting who they really are. And in true Buffy fashion, hilarity and danger abound. Willow turns into a ghost (and is the only one who knows who she is and figures out that something strange is going on), Xander turns into a soldier who isn't afraid of anything, and Buffy turns into an 18th century damsel who is afraid of everything. It all makes for one great episode.

Quotes:

Buffy: Who am I kidding? Dates are what normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about? Ambush tactics. Beheading. Not exactly the things dreams are made of.

Xander: Halloween quiet? I figured it would be a big old vamp scare-a-palooza.
Buffy: Not according to Giles. He swears tomorrow night is dead for the undead. They stay in.
Xander: Those wacky vampires. That's why I love 'em. They just keep you guessin'.

[Buffy "takes care" of a guy who is picking on Xander]
Xander: Larry was about to pummel me.
Buffy: Oh, that? Forget about it?
Xander: Oh, I'll forget about it. Maybe in 15, 20 years when my rep for being a sissy man finally fades.
Buffy: Xander --
Xander: A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life. Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot for your help.
[Xander leaves]
Buffy: I think I just violated the guy code, big time.
Willow: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile.

Giles (as Buffy tries to sneak into the library): Buffy! Excellent.
Buffy: Nothing. Hi.

Buffy: You know, there's this place you can go. You sit in the dark, and there are moving pictures, right? And the pictures tell a story.
Giles: Ha ha. Very droll. I'll have you know that I have very many relaxing hobbies.
Buffy: Such as?
Giles: Well, um... I enjoy cross-referencing.
Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?

Buffy: It must have been wonderful to put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess and have horses and servants and yet more gowns.
Willow: Yea. Still, I prefer being able to vote. Or, I mean, I will when I can.

Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew.
Cordelia: Oh. He's a vampire. Of course. But the cuddly kind. Like a Care Bear with fangs?

Buffy: You're missing the point of Halloween.
Willow: Free candy?
Buffy: It's "come as you aren't" night.

Buffy: Halloween is the night that not you is you, but not you. You know?

Xander: Buffy! Lady of Buffdom. Duchess of Buffonia. I am in awe.

Xander: Hey, Will. That's a fine "Boo" you got there.

Cordelia: Is Mr. "I'm the lead singer, I'm so great, I don't have to show up for my date or even call" gonna be there?
Oz: Yea. You know, he's just going by "Devon" now.
Cordelia: Well, you can tell him that I don't care and that I didn't even mention it, and that... I didn't even see you. So, that's just fine.
Oz: So, what do I tell him?
Cordelia: Nothing. Geez, get with the program.
[Cordelia leaves]
Oz: Why can't I meet a nice girl like that?

Willow: Buffy, are you all right?
Buffy: What?
Xander: Are you hurt?
Willow: Buffy, are you hurt?
Buffy: Buffy?
Willow:  She's not Buffy.
Xander: Who's Buffy.
Willow: Oh, this is fun.

Willow: She's from the past.
Xander: And you're a ghost?
Willow: Yes. Now, let's get inside.
Xander: I just want you to know that I'm taking a lot on faith here.

Buffy: I just wanna go home.
Willow: You are home. [to herself] She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?

Cordelia: What's going on?
Willow: Okay. Your name is Cordelia. You're not a cat. You're in High School, and we're your friends. Well, sort of.
Cordelia: That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?
Willow: You know us?
Cordelia: Yea. Lucky me.

Cordelia (re: Willow): Who died and made her the boss?

Spike: Well, this is just... neat.

Xander: She's right. We must have some kind of amnesia.
Buffy: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often.
Xander: How do you explain this?
Buffy: I don't. I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty. Then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a baron.

Cordelia (to Angel): They don't know who they are. Everyone's turned into a monster. It's a whole big thing. How are you?

Xander (to Angel): You take the princess and secure the kitchen. Catwoman, you're with me.
Buffy: But I don't want to go with you. I like the man with the musket.
Angel: Come on.
Buffy: Do you have a musket?

Willow: I don't even know what I'm looking for. Plus, I can't turn the page.

Giles: Janus. A Roman mythical god.
Willow: What does this mean?
Giles: Primary the division of self. Male and female, light and dark...
Ethan (entering): Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter.

Xander: It's strange, but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure.

Buffy: Hi honey, I'm home.

Buffy: You know what? It's good to be me.

Oz: Who is that girl?