Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2, ep. 7 Quippy Quotes

For those of you who are familiar with the series, Roswell, Max (Jason Behr) is in this episode, "Lie to Me." His character is very different from Max, but it's great to see him in another series. Jason plays Billy Fordham (Ford), a school friend of Buffy's from L.A., where she lived before coming to Sunnydale and the Hellmouth.

So, this episode is about lies and vampires, another fun ride in this exciting journey which is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And if you've already discovered the joys of Buffy (and even if you haven't yet), then may I recommend you check out another "supernatural" series: Roswell. It's all about aliens in New Mexico. Hmm. So, that's where it got the title. *wink*

Quotes:

Jenny: It's a secret.
Giles: What kind of secret?
Jenny: Um, the kind that's secret. You know, where I don't actually tell you what it is.
Giles: I think it's customary when two people are going out for the evening that they both have an idea where they're going.
Jenny: Come on, where is your sense of adventure?
Giles: How will I know what to wear?
Jenny: Do you own anything else?

Cordelia: I just don't see why everyone's picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed.
Xander: I think you mean "oppressed."
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're like, "let's lose some heads." That's fair? And Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake.

Xander: Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing something wrong, then I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy.
Buffy: I'm glad someone has a happy.

Willow: So, you two were sweeties in the fifth grade?
Buffy: Not even. Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. I couldn't be bothered with someone that young.

Buffy: Hey, are you busy tonight? We're going to the Bronze. It's the local club, and you have to come.
Ford: I'd love to, but if you guys already had plans, would I be imposing?
Xander: Only in the literal sense.

Xander: "This is Ford, my bestest of all my friends." Geez, doesn't she know any fat guys?

Ford: You can't touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets.
Xander: Care to make a small wager on that?

Ford (re: Angel): He's not in school, right? He looks older than her.
Xander: You're not wrong.

Buffy: What did you do last night?
Angel: Nothing.
Buffy: Nothing at all? You ceased to exist?

Ford (shakes Angel's hand): Whoa! Cold hands.
Xander: You're not wrong.

Xander: Okay, once more, with tension.

Willow (to Xander): See, you made him do that thing where he's gone!

Ford: I thought you were just slaying a vampire.
Buffy: What? Whatting a what?

Angel: I guess I need help.
Willow: Help? You mean, like, on homework? No. 'Cause you're old and you already know stuff.

Angel: I want to track someone down - on the net.
Willow: Oh, great! I'm so the "net girl."

Willow: Uh, Angel, if I tell you something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?

Angel: Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty, really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yea, I get jealous.

Buffy (to Giles): Go! Experience this thing called fun.

Buffy: I think you've seen everything there is to see in Sunnydale.
Ford: Well, it's really...
Buffy: Feel free to say "dull."
Ford: Okay, dull is good.

Xander: Yea, I'm going to have to go with dead boy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?

Xander: Sure thing, Bosy Cow.

Willow: Okay, but do they really stick out?
Xander: What?
Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they really stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, "Wow, that baby is sore"?
Xander: You have too many thoughts.

Girl: We welcome anyone who's interested in the lonely ones.
Willow: The lonely ones?
Angel: Vampires.
Xander: Oh, we usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.

Giles: I've always been interested in... in monster trucks.
Buffy: You took him to monster trucks?
Jenny: I thought it would be a change.
Giles: It was a change.
Jenny: Look, we could have just left.
Giles, What, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars? No, couldn't have had that.

Giles (re: vampire): A book! It took one of my books!
Jenny: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.

Spike: Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Angel: Buffy, can I come in?
Buffy: Sure. I thought once you'd been invited, you could always just walk in.
Angel: I can. I was just being polite.

Buffy: What do you want, Ford? What's this about?
Ford: I really don't think you'd understand.
Buffy: I don't need to understand. I just need to know.

Buffy: What I see is that right after the sun goes down, Spike and all his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.

Spike: Uh, where's the doorknob?

Buffy: The more I know, the more confused I get.
Giles: I believe that's called growing up.
Buffy: I'd like to stop then, okay?
Giles I know the feeling.

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yea. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. And we always defeat them and save the day. No one dies and everyone lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.