Buffy the Vampire Slayer: season 3, ep. 7, Quippy Quotes

In "Revelations," Faith meets her new watcher, Mrs. Post. Faith, of course, doesn't think she needs a watcher. And the new watcher wastes no time in taking complete control from the get-go. I have to say that just the mention of "The Council" has a way of making Giles feel like he is inadequate as a watcher. I hate to see him feel that way. After all, he is the watcher to a real slayer, not just sitting in a large mansion in England having retreats. All of the other watchers are so puffed up and egotistical, it just burns my purple peeps. I just want to slap Mrs. Post (and I'm not a violent person).

According to Mrs. Post, a demon named Lagos wants the Glove of Myhnegon, which is highly dangerous (and hidden in a tomb in one of Sunnydale's 12 cemeteries) and if it were to fall into the wrong hands (so to speak), the results could be extremely deadly. It's up to Buffy and Faith to make sure said demon does not obtain the Glove and most of all, that it does not put the Glove on his hand.

Quotes:

Willow: I think it's great when two people like two people and want to be close to them instead of anyone else.
Xander: Hear, hear!
Oz: Yea, well put.

Xander: Thank you! Thank you! We're here through Saturday. Enjoy the veal.

Cordelia:  When your last steady killed half the class, and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram? It makes a girl shy.

Xander: But we're the best of Buffy's bestest buds.

Buffy: Synchronized slaying.
Faith: New Olympic category?
Buffy: What do you think?

Faith: I'm telling you, I don't need a  new watcher. No offense, lady. I just have this problem with authority figures. They end up kind of dead.

Faith: Excuse me, Mary Poppins, you don't seem to be listening --

Mrs. Post: The Council wishes me to to report on the entire situation here, (to Giles) including you.
Buffy: Hmm, academic probation's not so funny today, huh, Giles?

Mrs. Post: The fact is, there is talk in the Council that you have become a bit too... American.
Giles: Me?
Buffy: Him?

Giles: What do you propose?
Mrs. Post: Well, if it's not too radical a suggestion, I thought we might kill him.

Giles: That was bracing.
Buffy: Interesting lady. Can we kill her?

Buffy: Big night for us slayer types. People to see... demons to kill.

Buffy: Some demon looking for some all-powerful thingamabob, and I gotta stop him before he unleashes unholy havoc, and it's another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.

Xander: Hey, you're not the watcher of me.

Faith: Ronnie, deadbeat. Kevin, klepto. Kenny... drummer. Eventually, I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet.

Faith: You can't trust guys.
Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really. I've read about them.

Xander (to himself): Hey, Giles. Here's a really nifty idea. Why don't I alleviate my guilt by going out and getting myself really, really killed?

Angel: I think I have what you're looking for.
Buffy: Great. Just, wherever this was gift-wrapped, remind me not to shop there.
Angel: The Glove of Myhnegon.
Buffy: The world's ugliest fashion accessory.

Mrs. Post: The pictures are fun to look at, Mr. Giles, but one really ought to read the nice words as well.

Buffy: It's not what you think.
Xander: Hope not. Because I think you're harboring a vicious killer.
Willow: This isn't about attacking Buffy. Remember, "I" statements only. "I feel angry." "I feel worried."
Cordelia: Fine. Here's one. I feel worried... about me.

Buffy: What is this? Demons Anonymous?

Buffy: It was an accident.
Xander: What? You just tripped and fell on his lips?

Willow: Giles, no one's doing the "I" statements.

Mrs. Post: A word of advice? Vampires rarely knock. Especially in daylight.

Mrs. Post: So, this is your home?
Faith: Yea. The, uh, decorator actually just left.

Mrs. Post: Faith, do you know who the Spartans were?
Faith: Wild stab... a bunch of guys from Spart?

Mrs. Post: You will probably hate me a great deal of the time.
Faith: You think?

Buffy: So, on a scale of one to a million, how much are you hating me right now?
Willow: Zero. You were scared, you kept a secret, you know? It's okay. I mean, secrets aren't bad, you know. They're normal. Better than normal. They're good. Secrets are good. Must be a reason why we keep them, right?

Faith: I say I deal with this problem right now. I say I slay.
Xander: Can I come?

Giles (to Mrs. Post): I have the utmost respect for your methods... in my own American way.

Buffy (to Willow): Look, if you're feeling any demon-o-phobia, please... splitting is totally an option. You're not the one in trouble with Giles.
Willow: That's true.
Buffy: How long do you think he can stay mad at me, anyways?
Willow: The emotional Marathon Man?

Willow: Keeping secrets is a lot of work. One could hypothetically imagine.
Buffy: You have no idea.
Willow: None whatsoever.

Willow: You know, I always considered myself a good person. Floss, do my homework, never cheat. But lately - and please don't judge me on this - but I want you to be the first to know that, that... there's a demon behind you.

Buffy: Sorry about that. What were you saying?

Xander: Good old Sunnydale Library. Fully equipped with reference books, file cards, and weapons.
Faith: Beauty.
Xander: I call crossbow.
Faith: You got it.

Mrs. Post: That's what I love about this town. Everyone's so helpful.

Xander: You think we got it?
Willow: Well, it's either the catalyst for living flame or just some really smelly sand.

Oz: Sounds like we missed a lot of fun.
Xander: Then we're telling it wrong.

Xander (to Buffy): I trust you.
Cordelia: I don't. Just for the record.

Giles: They swear there was a memo.

Buffy: The place looks nice.
Faith: Yea. It's real Spartan.

Buffy: How are you?
Faith: Five by five.
Buffy: I'll interpret that as good.