There's another great scene with Spike and Joyce in this episode. Spike spills all of his relationship woes to Joyce over a cup of hot chocolate. And Joyce, not knowing how dangerous Spike really is, listens to him and gives him advice. When Angel shows up, and is unable to come into the house, Joyce thinks Angel is the dangerous one, and Spike loves it.
Quotes:
Willow: This is a nightmare. This is... my world is spinning.
Xander: It's not that bad, Willow. Really.
Willow: 740 verbal? I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the Slack-jawed Yokel.
Xander: That's right. And the fact that your "740 verbal" closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
Oz (to Willow): I can see why you'd be upset. [pause] That was my sarcastic voice.
Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Oz: I've been told that.
Willow: Buffy! Did you get your SAT scores?
[Buffy nods her head]
Xander: By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are going to be manning the drive-thru windows, side-by-side.
Cordelia: Well, I think this is great! Now you can leave and never come back. Well, I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back here?
[cut to Spike coming back to Sunnydale]
Spike: Home sweet home.
Xander: Come on. It'll be fun.
Cordelia: I don't know. I just thought we were going to do something... you know, classy.
Xander: What's classier than bowling?
Cordelia: Apart from everything ever?
Xander: There's pictures. Of me... in your locker. I never knew I was locker-door material.
Cordelia: Well, just barely. And besides, I look really cute in those pictures.
Willow: They don't stand a chance. I'm really good. Or I used to be when they had the inflatable things in the gutters.
Willow: What's this?
Oz: It's a gift.
Willow: What's the occasion?
Oz: Pretty much you are.
Willow: We have to find a little Pez werewolf, so little Pez witch can have a boyfriend.
Oz: I don't think they make a werewolf Pez. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog.
Buffy: Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? I mean, you're not going to settle there and grow crops or anything.
Giles: What? Oh, my gear. No. This is just basic necessities.
Buffy: Giles. You pack like me.
Giles: I suspect your mother will want to put it on the refrigerator.
Buffy: Yea, she saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded.
Giles: I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?
Buffy: She started with all this crazy talk about me going to college. Maybe someplace else. I know. I said that you were going to have a goat. Responsibilities and all. I know the drill.
Giles: She may be right.
Buffy: Yea, I know, I figure you'd... Okay. Be kind. Rewind.
Willow: It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy, with the smoke and the sweating, and the shoe rental.
Xander: You're turned on by rented shoes?
Willow: No! Pez!
Xander: Maybe bowling might be too much to handle.
Buffy (to Joyce): All day it's been like, "Congratulations!" "Go away!"
Joyce: You belong at a good old-fashioned college with keg parties and boys, not here with hellmouths and vampires.
Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction.
Joyce: I spoke with Mr. Giles, and he said --
Buffy: That Faith could be Miss Sunnydale in the Slayer pageant. I know.
Spike: This is just too much.
Magic shop owner: We don't carry... leprosy.
Mayor: I would sell my soul for a decent short game. Of course, it's a little late for that.
Mayor: Loose cannon. Rock the boat. Is that a mixed metaphor? Boats did have cannons, and a loose one would cause it to rock. Oh, honestly. I don't know where my mind goes these days.
Angel: She wants you to get out.
Buffy: Someplace a little less hellmouthy.
Willow: You said you wished that these feelings could just go away.
Xander: Yea, I wish for a lot of things. I told you I wished I was a fireman when we were in the sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that!
Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?
Spike: I said, "I am not puttin' up with this anymore." And she said, "Fine." And I said, "Yea, I've got an unlife, you know!" And then she said... she said we could still be friends.
Spike: Well, if at first you don't succeed... I'll kill him, and you try again.
Cordelia: Was Willow messing with her magic tricks again? Maybe they disappeared. Maybe she turned Xander into something "ishy."
Buffy: Either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe --
Cordelia: You're having too many "or's." Pick one.
Joyce: She sounds very unreasonable.
Spike: She is. She's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her.
Angel: You touch her and I'll cut your head off.
Spike: Yea? You and what army?
[Buffy enters]
Buffy: That would be me.
Spike: You do me now, you'll never find the little witch.
Joyce: Willow's a witch?
Buffy: And Xander?
Spike: Him too.
Joyce: Xander's a witch?
Cordelia: Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
Oz: I really agree.
Spike: I wish I was dead.
Buffy: Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard --
Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times.
Buffy: Spike can get the rats eyes.
Spike: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.
Willow: Drusilla broke up with him.
Xander: Gee, and we'd all hoped those crazy kids would make it work.
Xander: If he's so drunk, he'll get sloppy, and then I'll make my move. As long as my move doesn't involve standing up or using my limbs we'll be okay.
Spike: This should be a kick.
Buffy: I violently dislike you.
Spike: Now that was fun. Don't tell me that wasn't fun.
Spike: Oh yea, you two. Just friends. No danger there.
Spike: I want Dru back, I just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is... tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.
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