Movie Review: Dark Shadows

I am a big fan of Dark Shadows. Not the original soap opera from the late sixties, early seventies; I'm not old enough to remember it when it was on TV. I am a fan of the 1991 series remake.

The series only lasted one season, and it ended with one of the best cliffhangers, and because of that, even if I hadn't liked the show, I still would have wanted to see what happened in the second season. I was so disappointed when it was canceled.

So, I was excited when I heard that a movie version of the show was being made. When I saw the preview I thought it looked campy, and I loved that it was being set in the 70s. Well, I have to say that I was very disappointed in the film.

Oh, where do I start?

First, Let's talk about Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins. The thing about Barnabas, is he's supposed to be an attractive, romantic character. That's why women loved the soap opera so much, and it was one of the reasons I loved the 90's series. I loved Ben Cross as Barnabas Collins. He was attractive, charismatic, romantic, and tormented by the life he led. I rooted for him, even though he was a vampire and killed a bunch of people. I watched the remake again this weekend, and yes, there's no doubt that it is very early 1991 soap opera. It's sometimes campy when it's supposed to be scary, but I still like it better than the movie.

The remake also had Michael T. Weiss and Adrian Paul. Plenty of eye candy. The new film only had a freaky looking Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp can be so handsome, but he was not attractive, romantic, or charismatic as Barnabas. His pale skin reminded me more of Twilight, which I do not like. His eye make-up was too much, and his hands were gross. I don't know who would be attracted to him. Before he became a vampire he was very handsome. If they could have kept him that way it would have worked for me.

I liked Michelle Pfeiffer as Elizabeth. She has aged so gracefully, unlike other actresses in the business, and she has so much class. Jonny Lee Miller's character, Roger, was totally unnecessary. I didn't understand why they gave him the storyline they did. The twist with Carolyn at the end was ridiculous. Eva Green was a bit off to me as Angelique. Bella Heathcote was 2-dimensional as Victoria.

The story was terrible. If you're going to have a vampire in your midst, the plot should revolve around the havoc he causes because he's a vampire, not about the vampire trying to rebuild the family business. I was also disappointed in the Victoria/Josette storyline. Here is Victoria, who is the mirror image of the woman Barnabas loved almost 200 years ago, and pretty much the reason he became a vampire, and there is really no relationship that grows between Victoria and Barnabas. It's kind of an afterthought. So, the ending didn't ring true to me. And in the end I really didn't care about any of the characters at all.

They made the story all about Barnabas and Angelique. And why is Angelique still alive 200 years later anyway? She's a witch, not immortal. Why would she stick around Collinsport after the man she loved is buried alive in a coffin for eternity, and she's the reason he's in there? I didn't get it. If they had made it more like Angelique's story in the 90's series it would have made more sense.

I liked some of the campiness and the 70s jokes. I just wish the film had balanced the camp, horror, and drama better.

I expected much more from Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. I'm so disappointed that I was disappointed.