In episode 4, "Teacher's Pet," Xander falls for the substitute science teacher, who happens to be a giant preying mantis.Quippy Quotes:
Dr. Gregory: Don't be sorry. Be smart.
Blayne: Girls really got to have something to go out with me.
Xander: Something like a lobotomy?
Giles: Every day here is the same.
Buffy: Bright, sunny, beautiful. However can we escape this torment?
Willow: He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon.
Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still my heart.
Willow: Call me old-fashioned. I don't want anymore surprises in my hot dogs.
Xander: Those who can, do. Those who can't, laugh at those who can - do.
Blayne: You came in second, I came in first. Guess that's what they call natural selection.
Xander: Guess it's what they call a rehearsal.
Xander: So there's something else out there besides silverware man? Oh, this is fun. We're on Monster Island.
Buffy: Were on a Hellmouth. It's a center of mystical convergence. [pause] I guess it's the same thing.
Giles: You went hunting last night.
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: When you assured me you wouldn't.
Buffy: Yes. I lied. I'm a bad person. Let's move on.
Buffy: Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory?
Giles: Yes. Yes, she's lovely. Well, in a common, extremely well-proportioned way.
Cordelia: When tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side, you know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.
Buffy: No, I'm not saying she craned her neck, we are talking full-on Exorcist twist.
Willow: Ouch.
Miss French: Oh, Xander. I've done something really stupid. I hope you can forgive me.
Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name. Actually, it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life.
Buffy: Factoid three: Her fashion sense screams predator.
Willow: It's the shoulder pads.
Buffy: Exactly.
Giles: This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one-one assumes it is entirely legal?
Buffy: Of course.
Willow: Entirely.
Giles: Right. Wasn't here. Didn't see it. Couldn't have stopped you.
Xander: What kind of girlie name is Angel, anyway?
Buffy: What does that have anything to do --
Xander: Nothing. It just kind of bugs me.
Blayne: I don't want to die like that.
Xander: Blayne, Blayne, chill. We're getting out of this.
Blayne: You got a plan? What is it?
Xander: Just, uh, let me perfect it.
Giles: You were right all along about everything. Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekingese.
Giles: Whatever you do, it had better be sudden and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous.
Buffy: Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it and he's still around.
Giles: Yes. In a straitjacket, howling his innards out day and night.
Buffy: Okay, Admiral. Way to inspire the troops.
Giles: Sorry.
Giles: Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled.
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