Saturday, September 15, 2012

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: season 1 ep. 8 Quippy Quotes

This episode, "I Robot... You Jane" aired in 1997. It's interesting to see how far technology has come in 15 years.

In this episode, the demon, Moloch, was bound in the 15th century, and the only way it could be released is to read words aloud from the book he was bound into (pun intended). Unknowingly, Willow releases the demon into the computer by scanning the book, and they begin a relationship online. Of course Willow doesn't know her new boyfriend is a demon.

Quotes:

Jenny Calendar [to Giles - regarding computers]: I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the twentieth century, with three whole years to spare.

Giles: Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.
Jenny: That's the TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box.
Giles: Well, I still prefer a good book.

Jenny: You know, for the last two years, more email was sent than regular mail. More digitized information went across phone lines than conversation.
Giles: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.
Jenny: I'll bet it is.

Giles: I'm just going to stay and clean up. I'll be back in the middle ages.
Jenny: Did you ever leave?

Willow: I sort of met someone.
Buffy: I knew it. This is so important. When did you meet?
Willow: Last week, after we did the scanning project in the library.
Buffy: Does he go here? What's his name? Have you kissed? What's he like?
Willow: No. Malcolm. No. And very nice.

Willow: I met him online.
Buffy: On line for what? [pause] Oh.

Buffy: She certainly looks perky.
Xander: Yea, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don't like it. It's not healthy.

Xander: It's just this Malcolm guy. What's his deal? I mean, tell me you're not slightly wigged.
Buffy: Okay, slightly. I mean, just not knowing what he's really like.
Xander: Or who he really is. I mean, sure he says he's a high school student, but I could say I'm a high school student.
Buffy: You are.
Xander: Okay, but I could also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?

Buffy: Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird or crazy, or old, or he could be a circus freak. He's probably a circus freak.
Xander: Yea. I mean, we read about it all the time. You know, people meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show, horrible ax murder.
Buffy: Willow ax-murdered by a circus freak.

Buffy: Okay, okay. What do we do? [pause] What are we doing? Xander, you get me started. We are totally overreacting.
Xander: But it's fun, isn't it?

Giles: Things involving the computer fill me with a child-like terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element.

Buffy: I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.
Giles: Your spider sense?
Buffy: Pop culture reference. Sorry.

Jenny [to Buffy and Xander]: You're here again? You kids really dig the library, don't you?
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.

Jenny: We are creating a new society here.
Giles: A society in which human interaction is all but obsolete. In which people can be completely manipulated by technology. Well, well, thank you, I'll pass.

Giles: Well, it's been so nice talking to you.
Jenny: We were fighting.
Giles: Must do it again, sometime.

Giles: The scanner read the book. It brought Moloch out as information to be absorbed.
Buffy: He's gone binary on us.

Xander: What does he want with Willow?
Buffy: Let's never find out.

Giles: Couldn't you stop Moloch by entering some computer virus?
Jenny: You've seen way too many movies.

Xander: Hey, I got to hit someone!

Jenny: Welcome to my world. You scared?
Giles: I'm remaining calm, thank you.

Giles: I'll see you anon.

Jenny: Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?
Giles: The smell. Jenny: Computers don't smell, Rupert.
Giles: I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower, or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and, and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is a - it, uh, it has no texture, no context. It's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.

Willow: The one boy who truly liked me, and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?
Buffy: That doesn't say anything about you.
Willow: I really thought I was really falling...
Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis.
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it. None of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!
Buffy: Yeah!

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