Monday, November 5, 2012
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2, ep. 3 Quippy Quotes
Principal Snyder: Shiela has never burned down a school building.
Buffy: Well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said it could have been mice.
Principal Snyder: Mice?
Buffy: Mice that were smoking?
Xander: Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her, that's the guy she can bring home to mother.
Willow: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.
Xander: You're bad to the bone.
Willow: I'm a rebel.
Spike: Home, sweet home.
Spike: So, who do you kill for fun around here?
Anointed One: Who are you?
Spike: Do you know what I've found works real good with slayers. Killing them.
Spike: So, how about this slayer? Is she tough?
[cut to Buffy brushing her hair in her room]
Joyce: What's wrong?
Buffy: I spent a good part of my allowance on this cream rinse and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.
Joyce: Life is hard, dear.
Buffy: Don't I know it.
Joyce: So, what do you think your teachers are going to tell me about you?
Buffy: Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class ready to absorb their knowledge.
Joyce: And this absorption rate - how is it reflected in your homework and test scores?
Buffy: What can you ever really tell about a person from a test score?
Joyce: Whether or not she'll ever see her friends again.
Buffy: Oh, that.
Joyce: Well, I look forward to meeting your Principal.
Buffy: Won't that be something.
Buffy: I'm trying. I really am. I just have a lot of pressure on me right now.
Joyce: Wait 'til you get a job.
Buffy: I have a job.
Buffy: I can study and party and do parent-teacher night and make my mother proud, as long as I don't...
Buffy: ...fight vampires.
Jenny: Rupert, you have got to read something that was published after 1066.
Giles: Very funny.
Xander: What's the up, guys?
Giles: According to her calculations, this Saturday is the night of St. Vigeous.
Buffy: Let me guess, he didn't make balloon animals.
Buffy: If I survive parent-teacher night tomorrow, I'll see what I can do on Saturday.
Buffy: If my slaying doesn't get me expelled, I promise my banner-making won't get me killed, okay?
Willow: We'll help.
Xander: Yea, I'll whittle stakes.
Willow: And I can research stuff.
Xander: And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.
Principal Snyder: You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would you?
Willow: We're hindering.
Sheila: Did you really burn down a school building one time?
Buffy: Well, not actually one time.
Xander: You've been studying for nearly 12 minutes.
Buffy: No wonder my brain's fried.
Spike: Nice work, love.
Buffy: Who are you?
Spike:You'll find out on Saturday.
Buffy: What happens on Saturday?
Spike: I kill you.
Giles: Spike. That's what the other vampires called him? It's a little unorthodox, isn't it?
Buffy: Maybe he's reform.
Willow: We can't run. That would be wrong. Could we hide?
Angel: Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.
Xander: Hm. So he's thorough and goal-oriented.
Buffy (to Angel): You've been dating for what, like 200 years? You don't know what a girl means when she says, "maybe she'll show"?
Willow: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you had two a year, that's still like 400 dates [Buffy looks at her] with 400 different... Why do they call it a mace?
Giles: We do have slightly more important matters to discuss.
Buffy: Yea, like keeping my Mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow night.
Jenny: And not dying on Saturday.
Xander: Does anyone remember when Saturday night meant date night?
Cordelia: You sure don't.
Cordelia: We're still rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there myself if I didn't have a leg wax.
Willow: What kind of punch did you make?
Buffy: Lemonade. I made it fresh and everything.
Willow: How much sugar did you use?
Cordelia: You're starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now?
Buffy: Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and... a third unmeshable thing.
Cordelia: Yea, I can see the oil.
Cordelia (re: Joyce talking to Principal Snyder): When they're done talking...
Cordelia: My guess? Tenth high school reunion? You'll still be grounded.
Willow: Cordelia, have some lemonade.
Spike: What can I say? Couldn't wait.
Spike: What's new with you?
Spike: Come up against this slayer yet?
Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave her the puppy-dog, "I'm all tortured" act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.
Spike: People still fall for that Ann Rice routine? What a world.
Spike: You were my sire! You were my... Yoda!
Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you, I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander: And if he bit me? What then?
Angel: We would have known he brought it.
Spike: A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
Spike: From now on we're going to have a little less ritual and a little more fun around here.